After 9 months of being pregnant. I had gotten really really really anxious.
Like all moms-to-be, I was over the moon excited about finally meeting him, at the same time, I was horrified about the pain ahead. Labour pains. No joke at all.
The very anticipated yet somewhat dreaded day, came on 30 Jan 2011.
At 5.30 Am, I woke up and went to the toilet.
Along the way, a trickle of water flowed all the way down to my ankles.
Was I dreaming ? I can't be leaking pee this way, I am not 80 yrs old. Or so I thought at first.
More trickled down. And a stronger gush came down once I reached the toilet. By then, it kinda dawned on me, I let out a scream to the sleeping Hubby .
" Dearrrrrr.,,,!!!! I think my water broke!'"
He woke up and rushed to the toilet, at that time more just gushed out, as If confirming for him. My breathing got faster..
He was calmer than me though.
" Relax, we have time,,, let's pack properly and go. I will wake ur bro to drive us there"
I was prancing around like a stressed out auntie, Packing , prancing and fussing around and hurrying the Hubby and prancing around somemore.
When we got To TMC it was prolly about 6 am. I was Strangely Alert. The nurses took me To observatory ward, fed me breakfast, changed me And called Dr WK Tan, our wonderful Obsgyn (highly recommended).
Soon after, they cleaned me , Emptied Me And moved me To labour ward. Where we wait for doctor, it was quite nice. Got Mini telly And Gan could sit next To me. Both very anxious.
We thought that we Will be seeing our liddle darling like very Soon. Like in few hours.
Not much pain was felt. Some contractions here And there And that was it. But water definitely broke. The nurses confirmed it. She then checked My cervix which was quite an unpleasant procedure, 1 cm dilation. Aiks!!! Long wayyyy To Go! 9 more cm :)
After Dr Tan came And confirmed it, yup 1 cm, she said " oh Not anytime Soon, perhaps tonight.."
Me And Gan looked At each other .，We were a little disappointed that it was not gonna be anytime soon. it was only 8 am then. :(
Tonight could mean 8 pm, that's another 12 hours in labour ward.
My contractions got a little painful then but still, not much, so after lunch, doctor came by and checked.... still 1 cm, no choice I had to be induced, they put me on the drip and for the next 6 hours, the inductions drug caused the contractions to get more painful, Apparently, If induced, the contractions are more painful, Or so mom said.
I was breathing in and out and I
was handling it very well. By 4 pm, I
asked for the gas, etonox to lessen the pain.
The nurses came by a few times
and asked if I wanted epidural so that I will be a lot more comfortable.
I persisted. Just gas, not even buttok injection, just laughing gas and breathing.
Having hubby next to me most of the time really helped, he has really been wonderful.
Coming over to the bed every now and then to tell me that I am doing well, jia you! He would hug and kiss me and reassure me that soon we will see Sheldon. Trust me, I really needed that.
Sheldon's heartbeat was monitored
all the time, together with my contraction levels.
Kaypoh and anxious me, kept checking the monitor every now and then. Making sure his heart beat was normal. As for the contractions, when the numbers strarted to shoot up from 5 ish to over 100, i grabbed the laughing gas nossle and breathed in.
breathe breathe breathe.,,
a bit more.... painnnnnnnnnnnn...
And a few minutes later, the cycle started again, every time it happened, Gan let me squeeze his hand. :)
It was quite a torturing cycle but not as bad as I thought it would be. I was nothing like what the movies and many people depicted it to be. Horribly scary and it would be so painful you can't stop screaming.
I think I have been very lucky so far, he is a fabulous Hubby :)
I told him that I will , no matter what, refrain from becoming one of those screaming hyenas during labour.
So I was mostly breathing in and out, sighing and tearing a little, while forcing a smile every now and then.
6 PM then came, it felt like judgement day. Dr Tan was coming to check on My dilation. I was so nervous, It better be good, maybe 7 or 8 or so I thought. But somehow I felt an overwhelming fear, fear that the news was not gonna be too great.
Dr checked and she shook her head.
" still at 2".
I started to cry. My past 12 hours of effort and pain, amounted to naught. Tears came streaming down more wildly.
Dr continued:" Looks like I have to increase the dosage and try one last 6 hours to see if you can dilate at all, otherwise it would be c- section"
Suddenly, immediately, the pain felt became a million times worse.
It was so shocking. I lost all control. Suddenly the gas was not working, the tears wouldn't stop and I was mildly wailing as I cried wolf to Hubby.
I was sad beyond words. Not just that my effort was futile, but also, it seemed like I wasn't gonna see my baby anytime soon.
So Hubby suggested. "Look if you are about 5-8 cm now, we can definitely weather this through without epidural cause you are doing very well, even with the extra induced contractions. But now you know you have to tahan another 6-8 hours of this and doc is gonna increase the induced dosage. moreover, we may still end up with a c- section. it makes sense to take the epidural"
I started nodding away. I was just too upset to think. I just wanted all the pain to go away, freaking dilate and see my baby asap.
So we went ahead with epidural while doc increased the drug dosage again.
The anaesthetic doctor came and I shuddered a little over the horror stories people talked about when it comes to epidural.
Doctor came and went and it really was not as bad as how people depicted it to be.... mmm Very bad la they scare people only! :0
I still remember some horror
- Wah the needle so big ! like those for horse one! - bluff! needle normal La. ag least it felt normal.. but whatever cos I didn't even get to see it !! so it's ok right?
- the doctor poke into ur spine u know!?? damm pain!!! - aya., doctor put local anaesthetic before the actual jab mah so it's ok.
Anyway, soon after, all pain went away like magic. Well, most of it anyway.
Then, it's another 6 hours of waiting, I was supposed to get some sleep before the next check at midnight. The next judgement day to me. Hubby managed to sleep this time. But I was worried sick I hardly slept.
After what felt like a lifetime. 1115 came and Dr Tan came to check on me again.
I was holding my breath. please please let me dilate so that I can deliver my baby properly.
" 2 cm still!" the words came like knife through my heart. My whole body flailed. My heart sunk and the next judgement came.
"Ok. No choice, water bag broke 18 hours ago, it's too risky for baby. We will do a c-section."
Hubby was holding my hand. " whatever doctor says ok? she knows best"
I nodded weakly. I was really disappointed initially, that I couldnt deliver normally. But At that stage, I just wanted To do anything I could as long as I get To see My Baby safely.
By about 1130, I was already in operating theatre, all cold and shivering and ready to be cut open. I know It sounds gory right?
Hubby who saw the whole procedure said that it was a whole lot more traumatizing! How doctor yanked my skin and flesh open to make way for baby was just agonising and such a horrific thing cto watch. I am so proud he didn't faint or anything.
I couldn't see the procedure as I was blocked by a screen, I was shivering non stop and Hubby was holding my head, that was all he could get a grip of. The rest of me was off limits to him.
Hubby said that once baby was ready to come out, doc used forceps and pulled baby head out first, then halfway, then the rest of the body. He said that the baby was so so still while being pulled out that for a few second he had the scare of his life.
I, behind screen, was also waiting in agony.Come To think of it, Agony was an understatement, trust me. I could hardly breathe And I am sure Hubby was holding his breath too. I couldnt See anything beyond the screen. But For sure There was just one little thing both of us were waiting for. Ever so Anxiously.
Finally it came, Hubby said it was just a few seconds after Baby was pulled out of My tummy. But finally,...
Baby's first cry!
His cry was the sweetest thing To My ears!!! My gosh!!! Tears started To roll down My cheeks non-stop!! I started crying and shaking in the midst of my shivers. I was relieved, exhilarated And joyous beyond belief! I just dont know how To describe in words. It was the most amazing thing that has ever happened To me in My whole life.
My shivering cold face was somehow smiling. And tears continued To stream down like rain. His Voice is the sweetest of all babies To me. somehow, everything became alright, all pain And anxiety were all gone And i was just smiling And crying At the same time. I even forgot that I was still half cut open. Nothing else mattered at all.
After cleaning the Baby, and while doctor was stitching me up, nurse placed the Baby on My Shoulder, between me And Hubby.
More tears Rolled down. He was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in My life. I just wanted To jump out of bed and cuddle him And kiss him And shower him With so so much love.
Sadly I was all numb waist down with an open stomach and shivering hands. All i could do was admire him, called his name and cried some more.
And so Sheldon Suhali Gan was born into this world. 30 Jan 2011. 23.45 at 3.225 kg.
Our bundle of joy is here and he is going To bring so much Joy to the rest of our lives. And just in time for CNY too!!
Happy New year everyone!!!
Labels: baby, gan, labour, sheldon