The Faraway Land Tale ( Part I )

"Ah kafraparabbaaboom.."

Once upon a time, in the Faraway land, close to Madagascar, lived a silly little princess. She was so silly that everybody called her Princess Silly. Princess Silly lived with her daisy flowers, her free spirit and her many dear friends. They all loved one another.

They would walk along the river creek at sunset and catch crickets. They would climb up the trees and tear their frocks, they would jump frogs, eat peaches and go to their barns and sit by the fire. They had a life they couldn’t complain about.

One day, a huge boat arrived at the Western cove. On board, there was a captain and his many men. The captain was so scary that everybody called him Captain Scary.
Captain Scary had an eye patch and weird metals attached to his facial skin. Captain Scary was not half -blind, but he liked it when people think that he was. He was a weird fellow.

Along with the boat, also came the monsoon storm, which had been much awaited.
Captain Scary and his men found a small clearing and started to live in the Faraway land. He would take his men fishing, timbering, house-building, hunting and of course, drinking.

Captain Scary loved the village public house. They served the blackest ale in the island. It was also the only pub in the island. They also had nubile ladies as barmaids, and this was always a plus point, yes, even in olden times (stone age I haven’t a clue). So, obviously, Captain and his men would be drinking every night and every day.

"Why do they call you 'Captain Scary', Captain Scary?", asked a villager at the pub.

Captain Scary propped his elbow up against the bar, grabbed the poor lad by the collar, almost tearing it and looked him hard in the eye.

"WHAT do YOU think???" Captain Scary’s voice thundered across the pub. So did his fart. Yes, he farted. Captain Scary would fart whenever he speaks loudly. (I told you he’s weird)

The poor little man shook away and ran out like a just-freed rat. His nose not breathing.

Princess Silly loved to drop by the village pub every now and then, to visit her friends and to put some daisies by the big wooden door. So, one fine day...,(yes, you’ve guessed it, boo!).

Princess Silly went to the village pub when Captain Scary was drinking with his men. Captain Scary turned his head the moment she walked in and he couldn’t keep his eyes off her. Their eyes met. She too, couldn’t take her eyes off him. (trust me, it's not always a good thing)

She has never seen anything scarier in her whole life. Nothing quite. She thought of King Kong Bandee and noticed some similarities but she decided that he was even worse. He gave her shudders, his stare gave her electric shocks. Her hair has stood on ends.
Captain Scary was about 2 bagagons tall. She was only about one bagagon and a little more. (1 bagagon is about a yard and bagagon is fictional, you fool!)

Captain Scary had a hair like that of a great hawk’s, he has a menacing stare, the squarest jaw, the meanest lips, and the ugliest smile. When he put his hand up to command another drink order, there were black paintings of a tribal kind all over his skin. Princess was so scared she almost rolled into a ball.

Captain on the other hand, has never seen something so silly. That silly little maid had a lot of hair and she didn’t seem to know how to put it. It was all over the place. She had eyes that screamed out, she had German sausages for lips and she was so white she looked deader than the last man he killed. She walked with such awkwardness she could have been in the running Olympiad for the Disabled. She tripped with every 5 steps and when she fell at the last trip, she screamed so loudly his eardrums almost got blown apart. Her rear portion was so huge and he thought maybe, she would fall off his boat if she’d sit at the edge. He giggled to himself.

He was then shocked. He was shocked that he giggled. He actually giggled, and he got a shock. He hasn't giggled in yonks.

"Captain, what’s so funny? You’ve been looking at her for the longest time.

And so has she to you. I’ve noticed."
One of his best men, Jack the Sailor asked.

"Nothing",

Captain was a man of few words.

Well, most of the days anyway.
They all continued drinking and the two weird people continued staring, amused with what they’re discovering.

(Weird people find weird people amusing. It’s a weird people thing, trust me).

(To be continued.....)

Written by: AuntieCelly - that tart

Read part 2 here