My tusheez

This blog was started once upon a time when a young girl at school didnt know better but thought otherwise. So the way earlier entries can be crass and words inappropriate so please don't judge. As now the person has evolved into someone older and wiser (hopefully) ..:.... But some of the entries were classic and hilarious so I don't have the heart to delete them :@ Well we were all young (read:wild) once, right?

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Pictures tell a million words

My life has reached a point where I need to seriously get down to choosing a career path. School is ending and some friends have already secured jobs.
In other words... I am SUPER STRESSED!!!
I can't live on my savings and dad's gold cards forever,can I??

Me iz getting a B. Eng in June. SO, I am in for quite a number of fields, including Engineering, banking, financial, logistics, scientists, shipping, etc etc..

I have realised that photo plays an important part in your CV. Yes... people still read books by the cover. BO PIANNN...

So, I have learnt the art of sending the APPROPRIATE PHOTOES with different job openings after a few trials.

My first few CVs were sent out with this picture below.



MY dear friend Rajoo has commented that I look like a foreign ah lian.
Evidently, the interviews that came with this photo were for financial, sales and management (shipping) jobs and no engineering jobs. Obviously, with a hair like that, they reckon I'd be complaining about the heat and dust at the plant and ask for extra bonus for hair saloon expenses.

So, I thought of changing it to this one and send a couple of CVs out.



I received one reply on a Mechanical Engineering job.

So, I thought.. hmmm... there's a pattern...
You must LOOK like you FIT the job physically.
Coz, this one I obviously look like I dont give a hoot about combing my hair properly, thus probably won't mind flattening the hair with those stupid helmets worn at the plants.

So, I took a few different photoes with SPECIFIC tasks in mind.

1. This smart and cool photo below is targetted at banking jobs, where the workplace is in swanky Shenton Way and the chill out place is down elitist's Club Street.



2. This not-so-smart but very friendly look is targetted at jobs that require a bit of brain and a lot of emotional labour. This includes marketing and sales engineer.




3.The next photo is targetted at smaller companies congested with sleazy chi ko pehk at their middle management level........






They'd go "Eh Wah lau wee.. dis char-bo look abit like that Febb-lu-a-li Char-bo in the calendar leh.. lim-peh want to in-tel-viuw leh..".
Sorted!


4.This photo is taken especially for job openings in Japanese companies like Hitachi, Toyota and Sony.

*KAWAI NEEE???*
Ah.. sure score liao...


5.I am very aware of the tremendous money making potential of the oil & gas industry.
SOOO why not cheoong all the way to where the oil is!
So, this picture below is targetted to the oil exploration engineering in Middle East..
.
.
.
.



6.This one is for nuclear scientist openings
.

.
.
.



7.ANd this last one was specifically taken for jobs that
"I DONT REALLY WANT TO GET, BUT IF THEY STILL LIKE ME SO MUCH THEN BO PIAN!"

Yeheheh...
.
.
.

83 Comments:

At 12:51 AM, Blogger CyBorg gently snorted that...

Celly.... u are getting humourous and witty by the day gal!
Cool pics..... haha
man.... am i proud to know u gal!
keep the wittiness alive....and may u secure a job soon! in SRC :P

 
At 1:04 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

i did apply actually..
i also didnt know which pic to send it with at first.. huehue.. wanted to send the last one.. but i tot.. no lah.. cant be that bad working there.. so.. i sent the one with messy hair... dunno if they'd want me.. i shdve sent the slutty look.. they cfm ask for interview..

 
At 1:49 AM, Anonymous Sze gently snorted that...

!!!! @#$%^ DAMN funny can!!! *rolls on the floor* *Laughs uncontrollably*... careful with the middle east pic though, u wouldn't want another hair brush aka "WASSUP!!!! HUH!!!" incident now, would you? unless of course you're trying to attract another cute ang moh guy... BUT knowing you... maybe you are... bitch!! LOVE YOU LOTSA.

 
At 1:59 AM, Anonymous ShiL gently snorted that...

babe you are HILLARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
couldn't stop laffing (teared somemore)... the middle east pic was a killer!!!!
ARDENT CELLY FAN!!!
lovia babe! muacks!!!

 
At 2:07 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

aiyooo so happy!!!!!... now that u gers are laughing.. i also start laughing leh.. i really look like an idiot in the pic.. but as long as it makes u gers laugh..

sze: dis time i not makin fun of them ley.i respecting them by putting on tudung to apply !

 
At 2:54 AM, Blogger J Schnorng gently snorted that...

Oh celly, this is awesome.

Taking pictures is great.

Seriously.

Regards,
J.
http://bigf**k.blogspot.com

 
At 3:40 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

Awwrrr..it doesss... thank goodness i learnt abt photo hosting..! Cheerrsss

 
At 3:41 AM, Blogger suspiciousbastard gently snorted that...

HAHAHAHAHA!!

 
At 7:48 AM, Blogger Adrian gently snorted that...

Hot babe who can laugh at herself. And you have a band! Man, you kick so much ass.

 
At 10:18 AM, Blogger Cherub gently snorted that...

lol. this entry is damn funny.

the tudung foto tickles me like hell...

 
At 12:08 PM, Anonymous TZ uncle here gently snorted that...

hahahhahahahh

Auntie!!! this is TZ here, never met you for looong time liao, accidently found this page, ahhqhha damn funny and sdoooopid ah. all the best to your job searching! lets meet up one day man..

 
At 1:01 PM, Blogger NaiveGuy gently snorted that...

Damn... I have to clean up that apple soda all over my keyboard.....DO you know how hard that is to do?

 
At 1:24 PM, Blogger miryclay gently snorted that...

you're so funny you're worthy to be browned man!

thumbs up for this post!

 
At 1:43 PM, Blogger yongx gently snorted that...

hi! i happened to link to ur blog. you are a funny girl! :) love the last few pics esp.

 
At 2:29 PM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

tz: Ti zhen!!!!!!!!! Where are u now??? thanx for the good luck wish.. yay.. i need dat cant u tell?

naiveguy: sollie abt ur keyboard dey...

to the rest: yay,, muax muax.. now i stress.. cannot anyhow blog liao

 
At 2:49 PM, Blogger Army of me gently snorted that...

funny shit...i like the conformity to the middle eastern companies bit...once again, damn funny..

 
At 5:06 PM, Anonymous TZ uncle here gently snorted that...

hahha, auntie! is ur phone number start with 93 or with 90? i got two numbers, dun know which correct. how is violet? never heard from her for long time liao.

 
At 7:12 PM, Blogger Jayaxe gently snorted that...

Hahaha! Eh, the last pic can be used if you're applying to be a 'tai-tai'. Heheh.

By the way, would you be interested in a telecommunications engineering job? Where you design mobile phones and stuff?

 
At 8:09 PM, Blogger Adrian gently snorted that...

Oh wait, you're in engineering? What field?

 
At 9:41 PM, Anonymous stoolie gently snorted that...

omg! a guai lan chio bu!
i like~

erm i mean i like the humour =D
damn funny!

 
At 9:57 PM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

jayaxe: hey got openings? send me the details pls..^^

adrian: mechanical..

 
At 9:58 PM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

Tizhen..: starts with 93laaa.. call me soon! i just went out wiv violet! send me ur msn lee..email!

 
At 11:12 PM, Blogger Jayaxe gently snorted that...

Ok, sent you the details liao :)

 
At 12:57 AM, Blogger Hai~Ren gently snorted that...

Wah chio bu ah...

Anyway I'm a reader of Adrian's (aka donaq) blog, and I finally came over here. Whoo...

And I see you've been quite free with your camera hahaha... The Japanese company, nuclear plant, and middle East ones are hilarious. =D

 
At 12:59 AM, Blogger Hai~Ren gently snorted that...

Oh, and good luck in finding a job soon, one that pays well and gives you great satisfaction!

 
At 1:12 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

hai~ren: amen..or many men

 
At 4:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous gently snorted that...

hello!

i love reading your blog! especially i'm so sick of doing my work...until i came across these collection of pictures. oh my god! i burst out laughing when i saw the picture of you posed as a nun.

babe,you're really photogenic!

>"tea-tree"

 
At 9:16 AM, Blogger ahmad gently snorted that...

ROTL...looks and a great sense of humour, a killer combination I tell you.

 
At 11:36 AM, Blogger Tigerkiller gently snorted that...

hahahaha........

 
At 12:03 PM, Blogger maotai 茅台 gently snorted that...

love it love it love it!

suggest you make an animated gif out of the pics; the split personalities of celle :)

 
At 12:23 PM, Blogger dindon gently snorted that...

very funny, yet quite real sometimes ...
am forwarding this to my friends.

 
At 7:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous gently snorted that...

Really funny entry. Helps to lighten up the day after another mundane day of fire fighting @ work. Keep it up.

 
At 5:34 PM, Blogger Tricorn gently snorted that...

This is great!

Will save post in this pay-for-surf terminal. :P

Yet another reason why smart asian chabo are way better than ditzy yankee pseudo-blondes!

>_<

 
At 10:41 AM, Blogger Wilson gently snorted that...

Great post! Was laughing out loud when I came to the last few pics. Thank goodness I have my own room.

Seriously, the 1st pic is the best. That out-of-place strand of hair in the middle seems a little distracting; nothing Photoshop cannot fix. The slight off angle of your face is good, better than the normal flat 2-d passport photos. However, I get the feeling that there's too much emphasis on your chin in this photo.

The other few serious pics which you took simply ooze immaturity, cmi.

Btw, congrats! You got browned! That's how I landed here...

And good luck with your job hunting!

 
At 10:50 AM, Blogger Vyvy gently snorted that...

You look like Quan Yi Feng in No.5 hahaa.

Actually for CV, it's better to take a proper passport size photo at a studio instead of taking it yourself with digi cam or camera phone.

Must look professional mah. Cos ahhh in the technical line ahhh alot of male bosses often think that ladies cannot make it and often when they employ you, they send you to handle some difficult chi ko pek clients and hope that you can use you female power to "soften" them and make them less difficult.... that's life...

 
At 12:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous gently snorted that...

The next step is for you to put your CV up so people can offer you jobs (or job interviews) directly - save you some hassle. Make sure you sniff out bona fide jobs though....
I'd offer you a job but you'd turn it down.

Dizzy

 
At 1:04 PM, Anonymous akari gently snorted that...

Oh man, this is hilarious, especially the last few. ^^ SRC? Are you from NTU? Good luck in finding a job!

 
At 1:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous gently snorted that...

Lolx, very funni your pics! Thank You for sharing. =)

Good LUCK in your job hunting!

Take care!

 
At 4:03 PM, Blogger TriplePeriod gently snorted that...

Hmmm... pretty pretty. But as the recruiter, I would love to see a little bit more flesh. Any such categories to erm... share on your blog?

 
At 4:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous gently snorted that...

Would you go on a date with me?

 
At 5:05 PM, Anonymous Jaywalk gently snorted that...

Good piece there.

Got me smiling today! (",)

 
At 5:18 PM, Blogger Dan gently snorted that...

hey hilarious stuff.. got recommended by mr brown. will definitely come back for more..

 
At 5:41 PM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

Omg i got browned..

vyvy: thx for the tip but I was too lazy to get it proffesionally done. Will do ate desperate measures. i.e if stil cant find job til my $ runs out.

akari: nope not NTU.

tripleperiod: wait long long!

to the rest: thx for tips & comments!

 
At 10:32 PM, Anonymous Bee gently snorted that...

great recommendation fr Mr Brown! very nice pics n a good clean humor n taste. if u r still looking for a rough-it-out n willing to cheong, try this.... http://www.singaporepsa.com/html/careers/career.htm
hear they r buying a lot of machineries n looking for mech engineers, regardless of gender...

cheers

 
At 10:33 PM, Anonymous Bee gently snorted that...

great recommendation fr Mr Brown! very nice pics n a good clean humor n taste. if u r still looking for a rough-it-out n willing to cheong, try this.... http://www.singaporepsa.com/html/careers/career.htm
hear they r buying a lot of machineries n looking for mech engineers, regardless of gender...

cheers

 
At 10:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous gently snorted that...

ahhaha very funny photos there! didn't know a pretty gal will make fun of herself using her own pics.

but wat the F88k man. i'm just another chi ko guy looking at gals on the net. diu la xing er.

 
At 12:37 AM, Blogger David gently snorted that...

haha how abt those security jobs: flip your hair over a la sadako!

 
At 12:55 AM, Anonymous mrkm gently snorted that...

ha ha ha you are so funny...but u look cute in the "tudung" though... :)

 
At 12:57 AM, Blogger alexis gently snorted that...

i'm strangely reminded of RU HUA when i see the last pic. LOL.

 
At 12:58 AM, Blogger alexis gently snorted that...

i'm strangely reminded of RU HUA when i see the last pic. LOL.

 
At 1:48 AM, Blogger lip gently snorted that...

damn ah lian in the first pic.. heh. won't get u any jobs that way...

 
At 4:31 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

ya lahh..v ah lian thats why i resorted to changing mah..
actually the first ah lian pic got a me a few offers le.. tho i din take. But def not engineering jobs hahahhaa..

 
At 9:37 PM, Blogger The Introvert Observer gently snorted that...

HA HA HA HA HA........... Thats so true!! 1st impression counts so much yes?............ Freaking hilarious..... HA HA

 
At 12:48 PM, Anonymous passing by gently snorted that...

The pic for nuke sci can also be alternatively used for jobs in the booming terrorism industry in the middle east. They're looking for people proficient in camoing and well versed in the use of hand signs. (j/k :)) Kudos on your side-splitting attempt! Had a hard laugh.

 
At 1:45 AM, Blogger ^star^ gently snorted that...

passed by from mrbrown's...

thanks dear. ur entry really cheered mi up loads. it was really good. =) and i tot number 6 was more of like a bank robber or terriorist. OOps.. =P

and boy..u still look quite good as different characters. Ahahz.. tt's cute.

Ahahz.. actually i'm wondering whether u'll do a part 2 of this. LOL... but till then, still wanna wish u good luck for ur job-scouting. =)

 
At 1:48 AM, Blogger ^star^ gently snorted that...

and oh yah..

i watched some documentary abt smth regarded to human face recognition. how employers would look for honest, reliable, non-baddie-looking faces as employees. so tt's y first impression always counts. lol...

 
At 2:29 AM, Anonymous kenn gently snorted that...

LOL
nice one.
with that suit, you could probably try out for a real estate job. Or a teaching one. Lucky students. Buggers.

 
At 1:22 PM, Anonymous Benny gently snorted that...

Ow you are so funny!! With your wit and intellect, you'll surely get whatever job you're after=)

 
At 5:16 AM, Blogger Froggy gently snorted that...

see beh gey yen .. why not apply for MediaCorp .. be the next Patricia Mok .. ..

 
At 5:53 PM, Blogger xaph gently snorted that...

That picture right before the one that you dedicated for Japanese companies, the lusty-looking one - thou art very alluring, milady.

 
At 7:13 PM, Anonymous Frederick gently snorted that...

Hi i'm new here. The latest entry was incredibly funny esp when i scrolled to the middle eastern part.. lol... i'll be back!

Frederick Lin
The Winterealm

 
At 4:37 PM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

introvert observer: heya dud..thanks for reading.. hehehe..

passing by: ehhhh....i did want to apply for terrosist position but horr.. cannot blog abt it mah

star:
i actually did a part 2... for interviewers from hell.. then.. hmm how to be chameleon.. but thats in the new blog thou...



kenn: i cant teach most subjects.. heuhe.. maybe only.. hmm... knitting.. then how?


benny: thanks so much!

froggy: bah... hahaha.. yeah i wanna!

xaph: that one is hardly alluring.. its gross..

frederick: hahaha heya!! well thanks for dropping by.. cheers

 
At 7:55 PM, Blogger diane gently snorted that...

Your blog is good we are looking at different site for ideas for our own site we have a Tai Chi books site to help people with health problems Tai Chi books

 
At 12:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous gently snorted that...

I was looking for blogs about tai chi and came across yours. I have whats referred to as a hard style Karate School and this is something we've been contemplating adding to it. Great blog you have and I've enjoyed reading the posts on it.

 
At 4:57 PM, Blogger Gordon gently snorted that...

Just visited your blog, it's great. I have a jobs seeking website which is informative and you can find info of different job natures, hope that it will be useful in your job seeking

 
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At 11:28 PM, Blogger Roberto Iza Valdes gently snorted that...

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At 9:57 AM, Anonymous healthcare jobs gently snorted that...

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Just make sure you come back to this site to let us know how you are doing in finding the 'it jobs" your looking for.

 
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At 5:24 PM, Blogger paikia gently snorted that...

jus saw this blog entry though its quite old but it is super funnnnnny loh.. i like the Febb-lu-a-li Char-bo and terrorist look.. solid ah..

 
At 5:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous gently snorted that...

Celle, I dun know why you stopped blogging. I think you have a marvelous sense of humour and would be glad to hear more from you. What have you been up to? Busy with a new job or what? Please continue blogging la!

By the way, you look good too.

 
At 4:20 AM, Blogger iza roberto iza gently snorted that...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 4:22 PM, Blogger Iza Firewall gently snorted that...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 

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