KEGELS for the LADS

I received questions on whether there is kegels for the men.
For the sake of impartiality and equality and to reduce the feminist touch of this blog,
I shall present you.....*drum roll*..

KEBOIS!... Kegels for the men!!

Kebois is a form of exercise for the male genitalia to heighten its performance and increase its credibility.
Sadly enough, not much can be done to the hazelnuts, but we all know that the stem is a powerful entity that can be trained.
It is of course actually a stem of tissue and of blood vessels filled up.

'I tried walking around with a banana in my pants just to get a feel on what it's like to be a man for a bit and I found it quite a hassle, poor sods you lots.
Especially when preening into the mirror across the sink...ouch.. '

So, how do you practise Kebois?

There are several levels to master and to start with , here are the simple steps.

1. Get boi in stallion mode, whatever your method is, but it'd better be legitimate, lawful and healthy. Avoid cold rooms and switch off the air con. You know what shrinkie wrinkley effects chilled air can do.

2. Once it's popped on command, do the following exercise.
Try moving boi to the right and then to the left without any aid from the hands whatsoever.
Focus from your right brain, connect the message to the targetted organ, look at it, stare at it and drive it, hands off! Initially, the deflections may be of minute angles but over time, you may be able to do a tic toc tic toc. Practice makes perfect.

3. Now, try to move boi up and down. This may take sometime to master. And once you have, try hanging a wet towel and do the same.

4. At this stage, you can play some game.
Place a little ping pong ball at the edge of a table. Preferably, get a table that's the height of your hips else you may have to bend your knees and half squat.
Prop your hips at the table edge and position boi such that it is 1-2 cm away from the ball. Now, boi hit the ball sideways (ala golf), but do NOT move your hips.
You can then put up a score board on how far the ball's gone. Change direction and repeat the procedure.

5. This step is Kebois of advanced level. Do not try unless you've fully mastered the previous steps. Again, just by looking, move boi outwards and inwards. This is by flexing and unflexing the muscles at the base of the groin. Fret not if it doesnt seem to be cooperating.
Perhaps you need a rest.

6. You can now play another game.
Take out that ping pong ball and this time.. BILLIARD!
So, you may take out more than one ping pong ball, 'hit' the first ball so that it hits then second. Keep your score board. When you've conned a bunch of male friends to take up the almighty Kebois, an interactive game would be formed.

7. To increase your keboimeter, you may upgrade yourself to tennis ball, golf ball and eventually billiard ball. NB: Bowling balls are not advisable at any level.

Disclaimer: The above methods were not tried and tested due to the lack of appropriate genitalia and guinea pigs. Thus, may disturbing problems arise, please see your own physicians.

What are the benefits of Kebois?

1. Show off !! What else?? Tell your mates they're wimps and prove it!
2. Now you can tell the lasses you are (almost) as good as robokoks.
3. You can be a very famous and expensive porn star, beat that Bobbitt watsisname star!

4. They'd pay you millions to star in full monty.
5. Again, something to boast about in your resume.. under extreme sports and hobbies.
6. I bet you'd be the lad all the ladies go gagaga about.
7. Miscellaneously, extra hangers in your house of course.
8. You can ditch the worry about consuming viagra in the future! Halleluyahh!

Some lads may be better at Kebois than others, a few factors that may affect include genetic descents, past experiences and WILLpower. The size does not matter.

NB: Intake of illegal drugs will reduce or altogether diminish the strength and performing capability of boi. This includes all forms of ganja and speed. *Viagra is not illegal k*
So, do justice to boi and take up Kebois!