My tusheez

This blog was started once upon a time when a young girl at school didnt know better but thought otherwise. So the way earlier entries can be crass and words inappropriate so please don't judge. As now the person has evolved into someone older and wiser (hopefully) ..:.... But some of the entries were classic and hilarious so I don't have the heart to delete them :@ Well we were all young (read:wild) once, right?

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Bad girl Nice girl Bad girl Nice

One fine day, good ol me wuz wailing about getting a pathetic hit rate with S'porean boys cause I am so cho-lor, loud, vulgar, assertive and intimidating.

A thoughtful friend of mine then nicely advised:

" Cell babe, you hor.. in a shop, would be propped up on the display window, dressed sui sui... People may walk in when they see you at the display, but they will confirm walk out buying something else one..."

HEH???? WAHLAU LEEHH!!
LET ME collect dust at the display window till I have gone obsolete ahhh????????

How like that ??.. jia lat BIG time.

What's so good about nice, submissive girls anyway??
But since the guys are crazy over them, I also want to be!!
I did train very hard to be one, but not surprisingly failed very badly.

1. I just CANNOT cross my legs the ladylike way. Thighs too fat, keep slipping off. Seriously, I have to cross it by propping ankle on the other leg's knee ala kopitiam.

2. I also CANNOT not speak up when I've got curry powder and pepper to add to a discussion.

3. I also CANNOT speak nicely below 20 decibels (bad rough estimation.. how to measure anyway)

4. I also CANNOT giggle and laugh feminimly like those sweet,docile geishas..


aeehh.. giggle like bunghole kanna plugged like that.
*DAMN!! I thought the Japs are good with make-ups*

5. I also CANNOT wear a very lavish long gown without stepping all over the seams and fall into the longkangs (drains).

Aiyahh.. during balls and D&D, my friends wouldl just snort at me
".. Alamak.. cow wearin' dress.."

So, too bad then. I'd just have to be the girl who walks like a duck, sits like a chi-ko peh, laughs like a hyena and talks like a cheap, Made in China speaker turned fullblast.

To aid your comparisons between girly girls and manly girls, and boost some endorphine level.

Let's see some gurly gers.....

*Miss Fish Leong.

Hmm.. Saccharine schweeet, my teeth are aching just by looking at her.
But, yah.. very gurly indeed.. this is the type most S'Pore guys go for. At least on my agenda.

AND AND AND>>....

Let's see some kick ass babe......
Warning: SEXINESS LEVEL 5/5!!


*The one and only Angelina Jolie*


Aorrrr.......Heh.. if I were a bloke, I'd shag Jolie anytime.
Like, who wouldn't aye?!

But anyhow, that's not the point.

The point is I can never be like Miss Fish.
If I were a fish, I'd be a freaking Piranha.

Hmm..Now I wonder how I'd fare if I were a gurly girl..

Hence, the acutely 'cute' pic is shown below..
(tryin dammmnn hard to look cute)




AIYOORRRRR!! ACT SO CUTE I WANNA PUKE!!!
YUCKK!


I prefer myself in a more kick ass version...




*so much more like me..dunno how to sit properly *

Maybe my market is not here. It's in Taiwan, UK, US or OZZI.
They like vulgar, KNS rude, lewd, shrewd girls more.. hahahha..

Anyway, I went to play 3 hours of badminton today. This is almost my fortnight worth of exercising. Apparently the new, cheap rackets I bought were heavy like dumb-bells.
I was like lifting weights in between shots. I then realised my right arm is dammm KNS huge and the left one damnn char bo..
So, halfway through the matches, I switched to left hand. Not too bad!
At least can hit some cocks, but a tad pathetic, like frying char kway teow lidat, left hand iz damn retarded.

Completely knackered today, heh. Brain dead.

I end with an intelligent riddle ok? Whoever gets it right gets e-dollars from me!!!
The amount cannot be disclosed just yet, but it's a few figure sum! SO.. crack brain! NOW!

QUIZ QUIZ!: What is it that will disappear the moment it's name is called out?

42 Comments:

At 11:30 PM, Blogger Gabrielle gently snorted that...

haha... at least u look cute when u act cute lor.

 
At 11:34 PM, Anonymous sam gently snorted that...

hm,kick ass girl is betta for ya.
for the quiz, wats e-dollars? I cant think of an answer though, a bat? a turtle?

 
At 11:34 PM, Anonymous yj gently snorted that...

Hey, I just stumbled onto your blog, not sure if it's my place to comment but my 5 cents is that you should just be yourself, because you would want your significant other to be with you because of who you are and not who you seem to be.

Erm, ok, that turned out a little corny, but let me try the quiz. Is it "silence"?

What's e-dollars anyway?

 
At 11:42 PM, Anonymous yuz mambo gently snorted that...

Hey... Kwai-kwai chicks are so passe. Definitely be the kick-ass babe. Tatz the kind of chick i would go for definitely. Good girls can be boring at times. Must have a little 'spice' in them.

For the quiz... the answer should be "silence"... Coz once u say it out, its not more silent right?

 
At 11:53 PM, Anonymous yuz mambo gently snorted that...

But, here is another riddle for u sillycelly...

I am the beginning of sorrow,and the end of sickness. You cannot express happiness without me,yet I am in the midst of crosses.I am always in risk, yet never in danger.You may find me in the sun, but I am never out of darkness. So can I be then?

 
At 12:00 AM, Blogger Vicnan gently snorted that...

Heh. I was about to say "me, in tamil class" but silence seems to fit better.

And puh-lease. Sickly sweet clinger ons? Give me an assertive woman anytime!

..said he who's been single for 17 years

 
At 12:02 AM, Blogger Vicnan gently snorted that...

Ooh! yuz mambo! Is it the ass?

"S".

What lah?! Can't I even try to be a little saucy?

 
At 12:43 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

Ayeee.. so smart! Yes la the answer is SILENCE. TOo easy huh?
To yj, e-dollar is just something corny I came up with...
Here is is.>>>
$100,000 (e-dollars)
So sorry it's not in the form of a materialised money. BUt maybe when I am wealthy one day yah?

Keke.. I am so gonna get bashed up.
*show peace sign*

yeah I know that I shd just be who I am. i am just wailing again for the sake of it. I am fine with standing at the display so far, getting a bit dusty though.. but the view is great!
Haha..

Vicnan, "you in Tamil class!" heuheuhe.. good one dude.. and be saucy is fine wadd.. anyone object? your 'ass',er.. 's' answer to yuz mambo should be correct. Aint it yuz?

 
At 12:44 AM, Blogger Adrian gently snorted that...

I thought the Taiwanese like kawaii-whores as well? Anyway, I definitely prefer feisty bitches to the saccharine-sweet, Taiwanese-wannabe kawaii whores (as I usually call them). Sadly for you, my dear girl, most Singaporean guys prefer the other type.

I've heard that someone is more than a little interested in you, though, heheheheheh. *nudge nudge* I won't say who he is because he told me not to, but I must say that his comments on my blog were/will be a dead giveaway, heheheheheh. *hint hint*

 
At 12:54 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

Adrian: YEah long live fiesty bitches! Especially to yours! She seems lovely.

I think guys here just dont know feisty bitches make good girlfriends too yah?

I cook, wash plates, wash laundry also watt.. just that the latter normally they turn into disasters la..

Taiwanese like 'la mei' too wad.. maybe just my experience ahhaha..
But I not big fan of angmoh.. how lidat.. kekeke..

 
At 12:54 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

Adrian: YEah long live fiesty bitches! Especially to yours! She seems lovely.

I think guys here just dont know feisty bitches make good girlfriends too yah?

I cook, wash plates, wash laundry also watt.. just that the latter normally they turn into disasters la..

Taiwanese like 'la mei' too wad.. maybe just my experience ahhaha..
But I not big fan of angmoh.. how lidat.. kekeke..

 
At 2:30 AM, Anonymous reader gently snorted that...

submissive girls are easier to manage, less demanding and also easier to show the parents. that is why.

 
At 3:59 AM, Blogger J Schnorng gently snorted that...

Wah biang eh lady, I like, leh, girls with attitude! Your hotness level increases daily, sia!

By the time I make it back to my island nation, you will probably be totally out of my league. Damn sad, leh!

Regards,
J

 
At 6:55 AM, Anonymous yux mambo gently snorted that...

Yuppers everyone... the answer is "S"... you ppl are damn smart!!!

Maybe i should have thought of a better riddle. Haw haw ;p

 
At 6:57 AM, Anonymous yuz mambo gently snorted that...

Oh crap... Another typo error. "yuz" becomes '"yux"... Blah... Stupid keyboard.

 
At 9:14 AM, Blogger CyBorg gently snorted that...

hah Celly.. u look cute.. when u act cute... surprising indeed. But the notti gal look.. u shouldnt smile... try to smirk or give them those, "i'll bash u when u look too long" kinda stares. plus... a bandana and some gothic black eyeshadows would do the trick.I prefer bad gals.... too sweet.... and i'll have diabetes. Preferably a active version of a lesbo. :P

 
At 11:34 AM, Blogger Shortphat K gently snorted that...

What starts with "T" ends with "T" and has "T" inside?!?!??...

 
At 12:10 PM, Anonymous wulfe gently snorted that...

"What starts with "T" ends with "T" and has "T" inside?!?!??..."

Englishman having breakfast!? :D

 
At 12:15 PM, Blogger kewinn gently snorted that...

Dei, TeapoT lah.

 
At 12:21 PM, Blogger Shortphat K gently snorted that...

ke-winn...u da bomb!!! clap clap clap...here's another one: Paris starts with a P and ends with an E. Explain.

 
At 1:56 PM, Blogger NaiveGuy gently snorted that...

I dunthink you shld change as I am sure there is a market of your type of gal in singapore, but hor, some guys insg got hole can bang can leow lor :X Not saying that you looking fo rthat type of guy that is :X

 
At 2:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous gently snorted that...

thot i saw you in Blk EA, NUS earlier in the day...

 
At 2:33 PM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

naiveguy :haha seriously, me not lookin at all. merely stressing the point that here the shu-nus rule. like i said., the view from the display window is awesome.

bigF: cheers mate!

k: Paris is properly pronounced as Pah-reE thus ends with an E, aint it?
I have a feeling the answer is moronic though.keke..

anonymous: didja? shhh..

 
At 3:02 PM, Blogger Shortphat K gently snorted that...

Celle: I thought that too initially with Paris actually pronounce as Paree or something...but the answer is............................


"Paris" starts with a P and "Ends" with an E.

Which makes perfect sense!!! just a matter of perception...wvahlah...

 
At 4:39 PM, Anonymous hamtan superman gently snorted that...

You are adorable! I would have gone head over heels for you if I know you personally.

I like you so much!

 
At 6:38 PM, Blogger Vicnan gently snorted that...

hamtan superman: guess what? I do know her personally! *wub*

Excuse me as I get out of bettering range.

 
At 6:50 PM, Blogger Adrian gently snorted that...

Heh, judging by the tones of your comments, I think you only have to say the word on this blog, babe, and men will literally be queueing up for you.

 
At 7:12 PM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

adrian: really this is still me standing on the display window.
Wait til they check out the shop, they pee in their pants and buy diapers instead.

k: see i told u its an ass wipe answer.

vicnan: tsk tsk..^^

 
At 7:38 PM, Anonymous Mal C gently snorted that...

Hey, just found this blog while trawling for blogs to read.

Not sure if I got the right person, but let me know if you remember a Malcolm from tutorials in your first year before he flew to UK.

 
At 8:13 PM, Anonymous haha gently snorted that...

Stumbled upon ur blog la.. NOt bad quite entertaining leh!! Hahah.. Nvm i also veri char lor.. cant cross legs coz thighs too fat.. Whey u look cute when acting cute!! SERIOUS!

 
At 8:56 PM, Blogger Shortphat K gently snorted that...

I have more ass wipe riddles where that came from...bt i think i better stop before everyone starts throwing tomatoes or potatoes at me or something......Oh btw, waaaahhh...one entry and u have got toy boys lining up all the way man!!?!?!?...U go gaaaal...=P

 
At 9:48 PM, Blogger Guojun gently snorted that...

Hmm, maybe I got bad taste but I think you are really cute. Are you the sassy ger type? I like sassy girl type =)

 
At 9:57 PM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

malcolm: yes i rem u.. hehe. hows is in london?

guojun: if wat u mean by sassy is abit like dat sassy girl movie, then.. i dun hit guys that often la haha..

k: toyboys? haha..

 
At 10:32 PM, Anonymous MalC gently snorted that...

Yeah din know you were blogging...

Life is ok, with finals up soon. Anyways if you are up for jobs in the finance sector drop me a mail.

Will stop commenting on THIS article already (significant other may be(or already is) unhappy)....

 
At 10:53 PM, Blogger Shortphat K gently snorted that...

Yeah lah...Toyboys...let's see..
example: guys who will 1) line up to buy you drinks 2) fight to send u back home 3) tell u how damn drop dead gorgeous you are...kekkeke...

 
At 12:26 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

malcolm: finance sector? do wat? email me le.
wat significant other? dun hv..
eh keep posting comments!i luv it!!
kekeke..

k: hmm.. sounds like they'd be fighting for incentives too.. i'd give it a miss la.. guys are such a waste of time..kekek.. but i still love them of course

 
At 11:45 AM, Anonymous hifiguy gently snorted that...

wah lau eh, you look like Kelly Cheng. Not the half-hearted singer. The other one who acted in a few shows with Andy Lau and was ten times the looker!~

 
At 12:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous gently snorted that...

with your pretty and sweet looks, dont you get lots of guys going after you? see, even attached guys keep posting comments here.

 
At 12:38 PM, Anonymous hamtan superman gently snorted that...

vicnan: good for you, but too bad that's as lucky as you can get. *smirk*

 
At 6:32 PM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

no lar.. guys bio only.. coz photoes are so full of gimmicks

 
At 8:29 PM, Blogger Adrian gently snorted that...

I get the feeling that though you grumble here, you're really unattached because you choose to be. Probably because no one you've met is good enough for you yet, heheh.

 
At 2:15 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

Adrian: I'd say TRUE and TRUE.. It's kinda sad sometimes tho.. I think I am gettin too used to being so dam free and indep now. also.. plus dam busy

 

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