My tusheez

This blog was started once upon a time when a young girl at school didnt know better but thought otherwise. So the way earlier entries can be crass and words inappropriate so please don't judge. As now the person has evolved into someone older and wiser (hopefully) ..:.... But some of the entries were classic and hilarious so I don't have the heart to delete them :@ Well we were all young (read:wild) once, right?

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Leavin' on a Fyuuckin Jet PLane

Tuesday at midnight, my darlingest Cat is leaving for Germany in a fyucckin jet plane. I will be then all bogged down and moody..
I am of course fyuucckkin angryyy..
This entry is a tribute to her fyucckkin GOOD RIDDANCEE!!! ARGHHH *hikss..*
Why is she leaving me?? WHY WHY!!(*Scratching the fyucckin walls*)

I scolded her just the other day:
" Fuck YOU and your fucking plane!! May the wheels drop off and never take off!! SO that you'll end with me again you BITCH!!!"

I SOund like an angsty friend????
Bah...She knows I didnt mean half of it, so we are cool.

>>> But Why Germany babe..??Why la babe..Whyyy...
WHat does Germany have that lovely lovely Singapore doesn't ?

GUYS WITH BIGGER NOSES???
I told you when they're big in their nose or ego, they CANT be big anywhere else!
What you doing la.. told you to go Africa la..nose button kind, it's top breed. (btw, she IS moving to South Africa in August, Damm)

COZ Of THE BRATWURST??
Look babe, those sausages do NOT reflect on their Anything babe!
Nothing to do with the length or taste. Nothing babe. If you just want to eat one.. Bizad canteen also have wattt... 1.90 only.. with cheese inside le..
Plus, the reason WHY they started eating sausages was probably because they were handicapped in size in the first place. And then historicaly, parents thought if they feed the kids with edible dildoes, them lovely dinkie winkie kids might start becoming lunchbox-ful.
heh? No, I dont know if it worked la.. how I know wah lauu



*** Check out the caption.. STIFTUNG WARENTEST??
Is dat like German for.. "WARANTEED TEST TO GET STIFF-THUNG..".???.. What a marketing bolllocks strategy.. Dont fall for it k.. and the GUT thing? Wassup mann.. DOnt eat then no guts is it? ***
(disclaimer: me dont know German)


But what's wrong with Singapore guys babe??
I know they have many many unfortunate faults la... but I thought we have agreed on making do?? (in reality, such a treaty never happened, she's given them the permanent capital L, gomene sai!!)

BECAUSE IT'S COLDER THERE??
Babe, I buy you 2-3 air cons laa..
I'll buy/invent/steal you those portable ones you can keep under your boobs and arm pits wan anot?? If you want to wear those boots and leather jacket down Orchard rd, I also wont complain babe.. I will help you carry the air con can?? babe??

WHAT?? COZ OF THE FREE EDUCATION???
BAbe....I also can give you free education babe.. I can teach you sociology babe..
I teach you how society behave, we just go mambo every week we know liaoo babe..
We society like no purpose in life babe.. no nid learn so far babe..

COZ OF THE LOVE FESTIVAL??
You mean... like a whole street of orgy??
You sure anot?? HEH???
Eh, you sure the education there free? GOt Engineering also right??
Should I take Master there babe??
How much living cost arrrr?

(Fyi, love festival is already banned, but Iam sure they still have underground ones going..)

Damm.. now stupid me is getting swayed alreadyy..I guess I'll have to let her off and let the world takes her away for awhile..

I did warn her though.." You dont go away so long ahh.. and better start a blog and msn me everyday hor .. tell u.. u think we will miss you meh? we'll forget you one la..one mth and that's it.. Who the hell is Cat? Wat awesome tennis playeer? Dont know Dont care...You think Spore got no babe like u who's damm nice, smart, funny and lovable meh?? Lots ok.. I just never find onli.. "

Then I'd be sobbing inside.. I know can't find one more like her.. but, I know she'll come backk.. And she'll still love me.. *hiks..*

_____________________________________

Anyway, this was what happened to POOR POOR ME TODAY (Monday)

(cut off an msn conversation & edited slightly coz u noe how superkok grammar msn conversations are like..here still a bit kok mind u..)

almost bashed up by olang says: bb

sze: crunch time says: y

almost bashed up by olang says: today i almost kanna bashed up by an Afro-American brudder le heuheuhue ...so scaryyyyyyy

sze: crunch time says: hw come

almost bashed up by olang says: coz i was in library with jun then opposite got this olang

sze: crunch time says: uh huh

almost bashed up by olang says: he took out his brush... then his wooden brush damm funny..like for poodles kind or..for shoes kind.. but nice la.. like from body shop lidat

sze: crunch time says:k

almost bashed up by olang says: muz be for his curley lovely hair la .. so i spoke to jun in chinese

sze: crunch time says: yah

almost bashed up by olang says: me told him to look at the brush, then when jun turned to see.. n i think i was giggling as usual la, i guess olang saw what i was refering too wah lauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

sze: crunch time says:ok then he came over ah

almost bashed up by olang says: he stood up and was like: WATSUPPPP????????????HUH??HUH?

sze: crunch time says:mmmmmm

almost bashed up by olang says:Then..I auto act blurr..and just smiled

sze: crunch time says:he sed v loudly ah

almost bashed up by olang says: siao liao.. why so sensitive oneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..yah quite loud leeeee.. in library somemore...but luckily got this dammmmn cute guy next to him

sze: crunch time says:uh huh

almost bashed up by olang says: A angmoh.. bob marley fren la..he smiled broadly to me and said 'Hellow.."

sze: crunch time says:uh huh

almost bashed up by olang says: SO.. I SMILED back and SAID " Hellowwwrr.." in my cutest cutest voice .. I looked away and bo chupped liao lor..was gonna stare some more at the cute fren but i think not good idea le..

sze: crunch time says: hee hee

almost bashed up by olang says: hehehehhehehe

sze: crunch time says: wah lau

almost bashed up by olang says:but he's soooo cute..damn his angsty fren .I never meant anything wor, just though his brush was cuteee

sze: crunch time says: k

almost bashed up by olang says: cheyy...

sze: crunch time says: mmmmm

almost bashed up by olang says: like auto discrimination

sze: crunch time says: yah touchy..but luckily got the cute ang moh guy

almost bashed up by olang says: heuhuehue, yah damm cute hor..

sze: crunch time says: not the point babe! I mean imagine if dun have the ang moh, what would u have done

almost bashed up by olang says: oorhh.. hmm die liao lor.. i almost nvr use my kung fu liao.. and he like quite big.. and hairi lee..nvr make fun a black man's brush n dun study in library liao lor.. or dun study at all..lessons learnt for the day..but, wouldnt it be easier if he had just smiled at me and asked me if I thought the brush was cute? Coz I think it was lor.. if he was laughin at me at smth chinese i hv... like.. lets say chop stick.. i would just smile and tell him how to use whatt.. not good analogy meh??

sze: crunch time says: chop stick different laa..

almost bashed up by olang says: Whele gott.. I stick in my hair and it looks quite stoopid at first also wat...

sze: crunch time says:...........

My most sincere apologies to anyone who's ever been offended by my bluntness ok, I am almost tearing liao.. I am actually very nice one.. just a bit of a moron that's all..

Let's just nicely promote diversity and eradicate all forms of disciminations ok brothers and sistas?? Especially discrimination towards yourselves...



4 Comments:

At 6:08 PM, Blogger J Schnorng gently snorted that...

I actuarry posted a comment earlier I thought, but it didn't show up. This makes me upset.

Anyway, long story short, gut means good, no I don't speak german either, only enough to find the bathroom, and I'm glad you're all in one piece miss; I would have been sad if you'd gotten bashed up, with your lovely tushees.

Later.

J Schnorng
http://bigf**k.blogspot.com

 
At 8:08 PM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

Ahh.. GUt is good.. that figure.. i guess german duno how to spell ah.. how can it diverse so far..*moronic gape*..

Yah man.. I wouldve been upset too if he did bash meup. However I was thinking. IF he did, I'd rather him bash up my tushees. it's the strongest, pertest, unformidable part of my body.

 
At 10:03 PM, Blogger Jayaxe gently snorted that...

Eh, so the part about free education is true! Imagine no need to pay anything for a degree??

As for the afro guy, you should have been more tactical leh. I reckon he got more strength using his one arm than both your arms combined. Then again, if you really kenna whacked, you can try being your inspiration as a policewoman - "elbow his ribs, stomp on his toes and fist the groin".

 
At 12:33 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

yeah it IS free. u just have to pay for insurance and uni admin stuff.

I had a better tactic in mind. Was gonna act all weak n girly and hide behind the cute angmoh who'd be my saviour =)

 

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