My tusheez

This blog was started once upon a time when a young girl at school didnt know better but thought otherwise. So the way earlier entries can be crass and words inappropriate so please don't judge. As now the person has evolved into someone older and wiser (hopefully) ..:.... But some of the entries were classic and hilarious so I don't have the heart to delete them :@ Well we were all young (read:wild) once, right?

Saturday, April 02, 2005

A moron who wants everything!

Today I went for more job talks. YEs la.. I am quite desperate.
Presenter was a mobile phone designing company.
You know about how passive NUS Engineering students are when it comes to being vocal and expressive. The poor presenter was having problems creating a rapport with the audience. And me being completely bullshitty and out of point all the time, realised I shouldnt yell out my thoughts unless I am very sure they're relevant. So, poor sod was still talking to the nicely insulated LT walls.

SO, he resorted to.. "How many of you...xxx.. put up ur hands" strategy.


First question was:
How many of you would like be in the R&D department?

I thought, mann.. this is so exciting, I'd like to design mobile phones which are out of this world. I thought about a cylindrical one that extends out when squeezed (like how destressing right!).
If it vibrates well, it'll be a hit with the ladies, the gay community and some weird straight guys too, so why not?

I also thought of invisible mobile phones, which are only visible with special spectacles which only YOU own, so that noone can steal it. It'd be a hit in countries like Indon, M'sia and China where the pickpockets are smarter than terrorists.

I also thought of one that has lazer pointer, I know it's a bit WTF?, but it will be a hit with the bengs and forgetful presenters. Dont worry.. all niche products for specific targets. kekekke..

Being a lazy, practical bugger, I would also love a mobile phone that doubles up as your credit card, wallet, massager, house key, door stopper, epilator, ipod, oil blotter and tampon case.
I thought.. Man.. I wanna do this!

SO, I PUT up my hand. Apparently, I was one of the very few people who did.( Wah lauuuuuu.. put up hands also lazy you geezers!!!)

The next question was:
How many of would like to do manufacturing ???

I thought of manufacturing, hmm.. itz quite fun also, I get to design and plan the least costing manufacturing strategy, I thought of how cost efficient I am : buy clothes from 5 bux shop, steal papers from photocopiers, nick cutletries from airplanes, fish $$$ notes from donation boxes ...
Yeap, definitely a goalkick.

SO, I put up my hand. I was like the only one!!! Watever..

Next question was:
How many of you are into marketing???

I thought, man.. I can do this too!! I can tell them that if they employ me, I'd put up the mobile phone ads on my blog!! I am how 'marketing'!! Heuhuehue..
I then thought of my prior marketing experience.
I tried to sell my extra tiger cup ticket by standing on the parapets screaming

"EXTRA TIX! 70 bux for one, 50 for 2!! 20 for 4!"

20 for 4 is like friggin under cost.. But!!!..apparently I only had one extra ticket, so die die the bugger would have to settle with 70 bux aint it!... See...!!
I am how 'marketing' genius !

SO, I put up my hand. I was the only one again!!!!!!!!!
The presenter snorted back ," Lady, that means you're doin the wrong course!"...
I wanted to fight back coz to do marketing, seriously one DOESNT need a course. It's fucking common sense can.. But I'll save that for the interview.

Next question was:
How many of you are into HR??

I thought (damn.. a lot of ' I thought's on this entry siahhhhhhhh)...
Anyway, yah I thought.. I am sucha people person. Or so I'd like to think. With the world adapting human capitalism, I would know what sort of people to head hunt for and how to handle them to maximise strength.
In other words, it's gonna be so exciting filtering out the chio bus and keepin the yan daos in the company, in order to maintain my hit rate with the boys.

SO I PUT UP MY BLOODY HAND AGAIN!!!

The presenter replied: " Lady, I can't believe you want everything!"

Then, I thought... (final 'I thought' I promise)... I DO LEY!!!!
And this is a freaky problem. How can I want everything????
How to look for jobs like that???

Speaking of jobs, I have a group interview for a big MNC tomorrow. I am EXTREMELY nervous!!!! I really really want this job. Coz it lets me fly all over the world and circulate around all their different departments. This is smashing coz I get bored so damn easily.

So, I packed my bags, zapped my certs, prepared my suit and did a facial.
But I think I forgot one important thing.
I FORGOT to learn about the company!!!
I only know it's damn big and got offices everywhere...
BUt I don't exactly know what it freaking does!
(What a moron right?? TOo busy blogging la..)
My friend tried mock-interviewing me and I completely sucked at it.
All the errrrss.. hmms.... I think....err...die liao... hmm..how ah? jialat.. hmmm...

SOOOOOOOO This moron needs to go off and read up a bit before showing up like a total moron tomorrow!!


Glossary: chio bu = pretty babe, yandao= cute guys.

12 Comments:

At 2:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous gently snorted that...

hahah, good luck!

 
At 4:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous gently snorted that...

Good shit! Really funny stuff. Good luck getting a job, worse come to worst, party till forget that there's a need to...

Tshen

 
At 7:10 AM, Blogger sideshow bob gently snorted that...

Anyone who is truly a great pesenter knows the first rule of presenting to a non-responsive audience is don't insult the one person who is interacting with you!
The good thing about morons is how easy they are to spot.

 
At 10:25 AM, Blogger lancerlord gently snorted that...

You want to Bao Kar Liao? :)

Good luck in the interview!

 
At 11:37 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

Tshen: heuheue... cant believe ur reading dude! CHeerrrsss

bob: u tokin abt spotting moi as a moron? heuheuheuhue... cheers

lancerlord: thank u!!

 
At 12:53 PM, Blogger Adrian gently snorted that...

Haha, you do perform better under scrutiny, don't you? I swear you're getting funnier with every post since you got cowed by Caleb.

 
At 12:35 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

Haha.. is it???
I thought I cant PERFORM under pressure, like some men.. but thats a different version of performance ah.

 
At 1:35 AM, Blogger Gabrielle gently snorted that...

wahahha so u are those guai lan ppl who put up their hand during lectures or talks ah.

sorry le, my energy reserved for shopping + dashing out of the lecture hall + writing useless notes on pieces of paper i'll never see again.

 
At 2:10 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

put up hands guai lan meh??
i think it's just courtesy, PLUS.. need to air armpit abit aye???

Heuheue.. my frens tot I was tryin to be stupid by putting up my hands all the time.. But I really did SINCERELY put up my hand to 'voice' out my thoughts..
^^..

 
At 2:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous gently snorted that...

air armpits? lolx

 
At 3:12 AM, Blogger Gabrielle gently snorted that...

haha quite leh.

but maybe i'm more the type sit at the back and laugh at ppl. So see ppl put up hand so many time sure will AA le..

haha but good good, means u not afraid to let ppl notice you. not bad

 
At 3:15 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

hehe.. well i see the presenter so poor thing, I put up hand give him abit of face laaa..

 

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