To be a woman (mad one)

Today, I managed to go for the 'interview', with much drama.
On my agenda, thats like.. what's new?

I was running late (what's new?), my tinted pimple cream was blotchy (what's new?), my hair was in a mess, my stomach was grumbling and I was on TMD high tide(what's new?).
I ran around bloody NTU (which is like a goddamn jungle) like a mad woman in a frenzy trying to find the LT.
Blooodey hell. NTU dunno how to name their buildings.
At least NUS named their Science buildings S1, S2, Arts & Social Sciences buildings AS1, AS2 and Engineering buildings E1, E2.
NTU's Engineering buildings were named N1, N2, N3... what da HELL??..
N for Ngineering is it? (try act smart also dunno how to spell..) Arghh...

Anyhow, the interview turned out to be an IQ test comprising 50 mind boggling questions to be completed in 12 minutes. That's like 10 seconds per question dude!

I am so sick of IQ test la.. my first ever IQ test was during kindergarten where the nun warned my mom that this girl (me) may go crazy/berserk with her overwhelmingly wild imagination.
And that landed me freaking ballet, drama, singing, painting, swimming lessons on every day of the week for the many years of my pre-teenhood. $%#$%#$%)!!!
Coz lovely mom thought I needed to channel the wildness somewhere.

I was like moaning: " ... Why must swim 3 times a week ma?? Boring le..swim here swim there.. everyday same thing. Cant they invent more styles? Butterfly was top level liao....I tried this new thing yesterday but I didnt end up floating.. i dun wanna swim anymo.."

Wise mom said: "Darling, you'll grow taller, have long legs, long limbs, slim waist.. and you won't think so much, .. good for u my love...keep swimmin.."

Years later, I was a few mm taller and my thighs, calves, shoulders and biceps grew twice their original sizes. I think mothers can be wrong sometimes.

And I think when my mom saw me with my blotchy complexion over the Chinese New year, she had wanted to apologize to me about not mixing well before baking!!!!
My brother is about 10 tones darker than the rest of the family, she must have put in cocoa powder in the mix, that or mixing during blackout. Oh he's lovely by the way. I am kinda advertising coz he is deserving of some nice girl (nothing like me I hope).

Here's the bugger with his last crush.

*Wats with the face dude? like ehehhehe.. i get u dont.. is it?*

This is him with his football buddy... staring at the streaker across the field I reckon.

And this is just da haolian bugger, (nid to put this up to get my Bday pressie.. sorry!)

And mom's of course undisputably the love of our lives. I'll tell you how cool she is.. SHe taught me Kegels!!!!!!!!!! MY mum Rocks!! LOVE LOVE LOVE MY MOM.

Btw, in case you thought you were seeing double, the first pic IS Teresa Teng.
He took it at Madamme Tussaud's la... cheyy right??

Ok ok.. before my bro and mom steal my thunder. I also wanted to say that darling mom had sent me for modelling class when I was 10. Hahahha.. I was strutting about nicely for awhile, before my fellow kiddy models started growing by the foot, while I lamely grew by the millimetres.
So, thinking that posing for Osh Kosh B'Gosh when my chest was getting bumpy was not a brilliant idea, I dropped out. And that was once upon a time.

ANYWAY>>>> Back to IQ test. I managed to do about 40 out of 50 with the last few completely HAMTAM version.

One test question I was debating about with my friends was:

Q: What is to a nurse as a cargo is to a driver?

ANS: a. hospital b. injection c. patient d. doctor.

I take a shot at b.injection COZZZ... injection is a medium to an important material that needs to be transferred to a customer (patient), like a cargo is a medium to ship important stuff for customers. Driver and nurse are the doers.

Quite the contrary, my friends argued that it should be c. patient. A driver looks after a cargo, just as a nurse looks after a patient.

SO SO!! Open for debate!! Patient or injection???

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I have painstakingly drawn a line above as what's to be written below is completely out of context ( I am tryin to be more organised here.. hehehe)

Eversince I wisely adapted singlehood, I've found a few distracting changes in my well being.
I have been coughing out thick green phlegms every 20 minutes for the past one month and my front bumper seems to be depleting in volume.
So, for all I know, I might be coughing out my mammary glands.

I think I better see the doctor on Monday.