My tusheez

This blog was started once upon a time when a young girl at school didnt know better but thought otherwise. So the way earlier entries can be crass and words inappropriate so please don't judge. As now the person has evolved into someone older and wiser (hopefully) ..:.... But some of the entries were classic and hilarious so I don't have the heart to delete them :@ Well we were all young (read:wild) once, right?

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Miss SillyCelly Universe

I saw glimpses of the Miss Singapore Universe 2005 on the bus last Saturday.
YES on the lurvely SBS bus..

I have satisfyingly feasted my eyes on long slender legs, skinny waists and skinny arms.None of them are fugly, some are really pretty, but some were rather nondescript.

But, here are some of the pretty babes...





Rebecca is so pretty..





Swynn is pretty too...I want those legs.. Arhh.. but very skinny hor? But SPore guys like lar..

And the winner was..






Cheryl Tay is a VET!! Don't pray pray!

But the most gorgeous one on the stage.. in fact.. in the world..
is the host..

The one and only Miss Nadya Hutagalung.. Long live Indon Chiobus!!





*My idol.. te hee hee..*

However, I can only admire and oggle at them. I will never be on that stage strutting about with my mini form.

Since I've fully grasped the fact that Miss Universe/World/yadah ya dah pageants
are completely beyond my reach. (Unless perhaps Miss fugly Petite Universe)..

I would like to indulge myself in the possibility of being Miss SillyCelly Universe.
This is so much more of a breeze....

So...

I shall present you :

The Miss SillyCelly Universe Pageant 2005!

First of all, there'll be only one contestant.. WOooohoo!


ME laaa...

I would be standing centre stage.. like this..






I'd maintain my poise and jaw cramping smile. I also would refrain from sitting ala chikopeh, snorting or burping.
But at the event where any strange fellow glares at me with negative vibes..
I would lunge at him.. and Whoo pah.... !! yes that's a whiplash.. ^^

After posing for minutes.. (letting paparazzi have their share of fun..if there's any in the first place), an amiable MC would join me onstage and ask a few lame questions, to which I would excel in answering, intelligently..




*pardon the lousy spelling.. it's falafel..me lazy to edit*


Q & A Session:

Falafel seller: Good Evening Miss Celly. I hope your evening's been great!

Miss Fyuck 1 : Good Evening to you too! It has been great indeed. Thank you very much.

Falafel man : You're looking great tonight! Absolutely ravishing.

Miss Fyuck 1 : Oh why ,thank you! Sorry I can't say the same about you..I mean, light blue for that ghastly vest?!?!?! You're selling falafel or ice cream huh? What the..

sad Falafel man: My vest and pants are sponsored by our sponsor actually..

Miss Fyuck 1 : Arrghh.. Fyucks.. Have the judges started marking me yet? (glance around..) Actually, I think blue is achingly cute. (address to audience)..He looks fabulous doesn't he?
Oh, Yes he does! Thank you Mister Jojo Airmoney! For the suit! Royal blue is So IN! Give Mister Ku-chee a run for his money dude! Woo hoo!

happy Falafel man: Thank you Miss Celly. Very kind of you. So, now that we're here, why don't I ask you some proper questions for the pageant?

Miss Fyuck 1: Certainly. Fire away mister.

Falafel man: So.. what does beauty pageant mean to you?

Miss Fyuck 1: Beauty Pageant gives many ladies the opportunity to strut about half naked on stage, gives media some buzz to bitch about, gives the TV some shits to shoot, some flesh for the guys to oggle at and some Kiasu sponsors to show off their goods.

Falafel man: Very interesting insights. But what about all the other finer things about it? Like its promotion to world peace and all.

Miss Fyuck 1: Oh.. world peace? Ahh.. that's bullshit..
Let this momma show ya the hand sign for world peace alright?
.
.
.







This one is for world peace. They say say so onli.. all tok no action!
Anyway hor.. with more wars, oil prices get jacked up again, and I want to work in refineries with 9 months worth of bonus.

Now that I am in this finger thing altogether..
Can I show more fingers please??

Falafel man: Errr.. ok...


Miss Fyuck 1: YAY! OK.. this one's using my right hand..







I'd say Fyuck Blogger for fyuckin up on me sometimes.
But at any other times, I really love Blogger of course.


confused Falafel man: Errr.. ok.. anymore?


Miss Fyuck 1: YEs yes! One more.. this one involves two hands..








I'd say... Fyuck yiew SillyCelly for being so silly, for being so crazy about blogging and not studying for exams.

Falafel man: Errr. ok.. very nice rings by the way.

Miss Fyuck 1: Thank you.. dad's Birthday gift.

Falafel man: Your welcome.. So, I shall ask you more questions.
What is you beauty regime? And how do you give yourself such a curvaceous Britney figure?

Miss Fyuck 1: Quite a breeze really. For the big arms, I do handstands and one-hand push-ups everyday. I do air freezes twice a week. For my my JLo butts, I flex it all the time, everywhere. And I think the size and shape are genetical. I can't help you with that. For my flawless porcelain complexion, I perform power shitting to clear my acnes. For radiance, I do a lot of Kegels.

impressed Falafel man: Woww.. they sound strenuous.

Miss Fyuck 1: Huh? You lousy or what! Wussseeee..

angry Falafel man: Ok!So here comes the next question..What is..

Miss Fyuck 1: (cut in).. Eh...Dude.. I am kinda running out of time. I have exams in a week's time. I need to bloody start doing tutorials. Just pass me the bloody sash and flowers, will ya?

*pengz*ed Falafel man: Huh..? but we've only just started, how do you know you're gonna win?

Miss Fyuck 1: We're the only ones on the stage you geezer. Plus, I am way cuter than you.. now pass me the blardy flowerss...

'bo pian'-ed Falafel man:... Urrh..







Epilogue:

Miss Fyucked up 1 went home with flowers, sash and Queen Elizabeth's tiara (stolen from Tower of London).. She has been crowned Miss SillyCelly Universe 2005 and will be crowned so again next year.

She is rejoiced and she promises to stay silly and say more fyucks.

BTW, Anyone will be in KL end of month? Email me! I can teach you how to be so rich! muahahha..

24 Comments:

At 10:23 PM, Blogger Vicnan gently snorted that...

ok. now. i'm hurting my head. Are those real pictures?

to make all the fans jealous, i don't need a RSS feed to tell me when this blog's updated; i've a mei nu ordering me to read her blog everytime she writes!

 
At 11:40 PM, Blogger maotai 茅台 gently snorted that...

ROTFL

peace sister peace! LOL

 
At 12:01 AM, Blogger Jayaxe gently snorted that...

World pissed then!

Yes, yes, I'm curious to know whether you really took part in a pageant or something.

 
At 12:18 AM, Anonymous yuz mambo gently snorted that...

I have a burning question. Can anyone tell me wtf is ROTFL?

And i have to go wif jayaxe wif this. I too m curious to know if u took wif part in a pageant or something. And did tat bald guy actually wear tat horrendous blue suit? It looks tacky. Note tat u on the other hand, look hot in tat white gown. Brings out the colour of your eyes;)

I believe that the hosts Nadya n Jaymee look hot definitely... Better than the contestants. But notice how the eventual winner had the smallest well-toned waist. Looks "yummy". But nadya definitely the hottest. Amazin to see how she keeps lookin hot after havin children. Wonder watz her secret... Could she be the "perfect wife"?

 
At 12:24 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

ROFTL: Roll on the floor..

But someone tell me whats NSFW..

Uh.. that MC was wearing the stuporous vest leh..

me in pageant? u think le..

 
At 12:58 AM, Anonymous yuz mambo gently snorted that...

NSFW stands for "Not Safe For Work"...

Yup, my bad... he wasnt wearing a suit but a vest. sorry lor... Wasnt concentratin much on the guy anyway.

I think u did take part in some pageant. A hall pageant? Or skool pageant? A singin contest? Please dont keep your readers in suspense, celly dear. Your readers have a right to know. Right everyone?

 
At 1:35 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

yeah hall pageant. heh..

not safe for work? heuhue.. means if read in office will get bashed up kind is it? aite.. i geddit..

bigfuck's creating quite a kallang wave in his recent post heh.. even xiaxue herself posted comment

 
At 2:09 AM, Anonymous laffing gently snorted that...

HAHAHAHAHHA!! Oh my lord. you're so Funny!!!

 
At 2:11 AM, Blogger Gabrielle gently snorted that...

eh u look very tall le... haha did u win?

 
At 2:26 AM, Anonymous celly's loyal fan gently snorted that...

i simply love reading your blog! they're so addictively funny. keep it up gal =)

 
At 2:46 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

aiyo loyal fan: disclose urself le.. v intriguing.

Did I win: Miss Photogenic.. haha.. oh well..

 
At 3:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous gently snorted that...

AHHH!!!!! STUPID STUPID! HOw come we're not invited to this pageant?

 
At 9:10 AM, Blogger Guojun gently snorted that...

Haha, you are so funny. You made my day.

 
At 10:36 AM, Blogger Peachi Bum gently snorted that...

>< target of bigfuck.
Jealousy all over!
Your blog is funny and hilarious.. I'm lovin it!

 
At 10:56 AM, Blogger maotai 茅台 gently snorted that...

ROTFL = roll on the floor laughing, which happens here quite often :)

 
At 3:21 PM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

target of bigfuck? hmmm...

so any more abbreviations i need to know?

 
At 6:13 PM, Anonymous yuz mambo gently snorted that...

For more info on commonly used chat abbreviations, kindly refer to this site:

http://www.computeruser.com/resources/dictionary/chat.html

Hope it helps.

 
At 6:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous gently snorted that...

i happened to stumble upon yr blog & would just like to say i like the frank & amusing way you write.

you are such a doll so i think u will get a nice job soon.

cheerio,
zebby

 
At 10:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous gently snorted that...

Haha.. funny one miss..you winner liao la..

 
At 11:07 PM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

yuz: thx for the info

zebby: thx and keep reading! ^^

 
At 1:11 AM, Blogger zhi yang gently snorted that...

lmao

laugh my ass off

 
At 2:00 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

wharr.. the owner of the only singapore porn site (zhiyang) reads my blog! ^^ SO hepi

 
At 8:49 AM, Blogger Jack Naka gently snorted that...

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At 12:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous gently snorted that...

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