Miss SillyCelly Universe

I saw glimpses of the Miss Singapore Universe 2005 on the bus last Saturday.
YES on the lurvely SBS bus..

I have satisfyingly feasted my eyes on long slender legs, skinny waists and skinny arms.None of them are fugly, some are really pretty, but some were rather nondescript.

But, here are some of the pretty babes...

Rebecca is so pretty..

Swynn is pretty too...I want those legs.. Arhh.. but very skinny hor? But SPore guys like lar..

And the winner was..

Cheryl Tay is a VET!! Don't pray pray!

But the most gorgeous one on the stage.. in fact.. in the world..
is the host..

The one and only Miss Nadya Hutagalung.. Long live Indon Chiobus!!

*My idol.. te hee hee..*

However, I can only admire and oggle at them. I will never be on that stage strutting about with my mini form.

Since I've fully grasped the fact that Miss Universe/World/yadah ya dah pageants
are completely beyond my reach. (Unless perhaps Miss fugly Petite Universe)..

I would like to indulge myself in the possibility of being Miss SillyCelly Universe.
This is so much more of a breeze....

So...

I shall present you :

The Miss SillyCelly Universe Pageant 2005!

First of all, there'll be only one contestant.. WOooohoo!


ME laaa...

I would be standing centre stage.. like this..

I'd maintain my poise and jaw cramping smile. I also would refrain from sitting ala chikopeh, snorting or burping.
But at the event where any strange fellow glares at me with negative vibes..
I would lunge at him.. and Whoo pah.... !! yes that's a whiplash.. ^^

After posing for minutes.. (letting paparazzi have their share of fun..if there's any in the first place), an amiable MC would join me onstage and ask a few lame questions, to which I would excel in answering, intelligently..




*pardon the lousy spelling.. it's falafel..me lazy to edit*


Q & A Session:

Falafel seller: Good Evening Miss Celly. I hope your evening's been great!

Miss Fyuck 1 : Good Evening to you too! It has been great indeed. Thank you very much.

Falafel man : You're looking great tonight! Absolutely ravishing.

Miss Fyuck 1 : Oh why ,thank you! Sorry I can't say the same about you..I mean, light blue for that ghastly vest?!?!?! You're selling falafel or ice cream huh? What the..

sad Falafel man: My vest and pants are sponsored by our sponsor actually..

Miss Fyuck 1 : Arrghh.. Fyucks.. Have the judges started marking me yet? (glance around..) Actually, I think blue is achingly cute. (address to audience)..He looks fabulous doesn't he?
Oh, Yes he does! Thank you Mister Jojo Airmoney! For the suit! Royal blue is So IN! Give Mister Ku-chee a run for his money dude! Woo hoo!

happy Falafel man: Thank you Miss Celly. Very kind of you. So, now that we're here, why don't I ask you some proper questions for the pageant?

Miss Fyuck 1: Certainly. Fire away mister.

Falafel man: So.. what does beauty pageant mean to you?

Miss Fyuck 1: Beauty Pageant gives many ladies the opportunity to strut about half naked on stage, gives media some buzz to bitch about, gives the TV some shits to shoot, some flesh for the guys to oggle at and some Kiasu sponsors to show off their goods.

Falafel man: Very interesting insights. But what about all the other finer things about it? Like its promotion to world peace and all.

Miss Fyuck 1: Oh.. world peace? Ahh.. that's bullshit..
Let this momma show ya the hand sign for world peace alright?
.
.
.

This one is for world peace. They say say so onli.. all tok no action!
Anyway hor.. with more wars, oil prices get jacked up again, and I want to work in refineries with 9 months worth of bonus.

Now that I am in this finger thing altogether..
Can I show more fingers please??

Falafel man: Errr.. ok...


Miss Fyuck 1: YAY! OK.. this one's using my right hand..

I'd say Fyuck Blogger for fyuckin up on me sometimes.
But at any other times, I really love Blogger of course.


confused Falafel man: Errr.. ok.. anymore?


Miss Fyuck 1: YEs yes! One more.. this one involves two hands..

I'd say... Fyuck yiew SillyCelly for being so silly, for being so crazy about blogging and not studying for exams.

Falafel man: Errr. ok.. very nice rings by the way.

Miss Fyuck 1: Thank you.. dad's Birthday gift.

Falafel man: Your welcome.. So, I shall ask you more questions.
What is you beauty regime? And how do you give yourself such a curvaceous Britney figure?

Miss Fyuck 1: Quite a breeze really. For the big arms, I do handstands and one-hand push-ups everyday. I do air freezes twice a week. For my my JLo butts, I flex it all the time, everywhere. And I think the size and shape are genetical. I can't help you with that. For my flawless porcelain complexion, I perform power shitting to clear my acnes. For radiance, I do a lot of Kegels.

impressed Falafel man: Woww.. they sound strenuous.

Miss Fyuck 1: Huh? You lousy or what! Wussseeee..

angry Falafel man: Ok!So here comes the next question..What is..

Miss Fyuck 1: (cut in).. Eh...Dude.. I am kinda running out of time. I have exams in a week's time. I need to bloody start doing tutorials. Just pass me the bloody sash and flowers, will ya?

*pengz*ed Falafel man: Huh..? but we've only just started, how do you know you're gonna win?

Miss Fyuck 1: We're the only ones on the stage you geezer. Plus, I am way cuter than you.. now pass me the blardy flowerss...

'bo pian'-ed Falafel man:... Urrh..







Epilogue:

Miss Fyucked up 1 went home with flowers, sash and Queen Elizabeth's tiara (stolen from Tower of London).. She has been crowned Miss SillyCelly Universe 2005 and will be crowned so again next year.

She is rejoiced and she promises to stay silly and say more fyucks.

BTW, Anyone will be in KL end of month? Email me! I can teach you how to be so rich! muahahha..