My tusheez

This blog was started once upon a time when a young girl at school didnt know better but thought otherwise. So the way earlier entries can be crass and words inappropriate so please don't judge. As now the person has evolved into someone older and wiser (hopefully) ..:.... But some of the entries were classic and hilarious so I don't have the heart to delete them :@ Well we were all young (read:wild) once, right?

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

O' ye famillia de felicitas

The trip back home to Jakarta had mixed feelings attached to it.

My family gathered around the ICU room where my grandma was. She had a stroke a day before me and mom arrived.

We cried and everyone cried. Cried til the day she was freed from the hospital 2 days later.

We then cried at the casket parlour and we cried again at the funeral.

Nothing lasts forever, this I know. Where there is a meet up, there is a parting.

It's just that it was too fast, too rushed. Just a month ago, granny was in Singapore, touring Sentosa with us, watching the fireworks.

My mom's mom has left us. It scares me. One day my mom would have her turn and I teared. I don't think I ever want my mom to leave me. I am selfish that way.

Everyone else's moms can follow to the rule but my mom is an immortal. Period.

Thinking back, the people who cried the most at the funerals, with non-stopping black faces and bad moods were actually the ones with piles of regrets.

Regrets of not doing enough. Of not giving enough. Of not showing enough. Of not caring enough.

I want to make sure that I give my best to my parents and those I love the most, before it's ever too late. It starts now.

Jackie once said that I can't be an O - blood type. Cause I am not Mother Theresa. I am not that generous to society.

Yes I am not, I don't give to the whole world or to the whole of Africa.

I am an A+. I only give the best to my family.

And I am standing on my ground.

On another octave, dad was there all the way. From the hospital to the end. He supported us like the father he is and the husband he was.
But now that dad is back in the picture. I guess there is light in the other dimension.

We all missed dad. He wants us back. We want him back. But we know that we should all take it slow. We told mom to go slow, make friends first.

We all giggled, they seemed like they were just starting to get to know each other all over again.

Maybe at my wedding, people'd be asking: " Are they back together?"

And I might just say :" Well, they're close..maybe they're dating.. "

I think their love story can be converted into one of those K-drama series.

My mom started comparing her own drama to the K drama and drew some wisdom. She seems to understand the big picture more. How misunderstandings, pride and anger were always the WALLS separating couples who actually loved each other. And there's always that annoying 3rd or 4th party in the drama and they are always the ones we throw pillows at.

Very good. K Drama is good stuff.

Anyhow, I missed dad already. Dad introduced me to a few potential new clients too and I think I am ready to break into the Indonesian market soon.

I went home, spent a bomb on everyone's flight tickets and the hospital bills and funeral proceedings but I managed to close a few deals in Jakarta. So it's okay.

Dad is supportive. In that one week, I talked to dad more than we ever did in the last 3 years. It was splendid.

All 5 of us actually spent a whole day driving around Jakarta, from granny's house to the shopping mall, to Krispy Kreme eating donuts, to shopping at Giant, to having dinner at my aunt's Penang Restaurant.

We are back as a family and we know, from his eyes, from his warmth. We know he missed us and loved us.

We know.

And we all pray for the best. Whatever it may be.

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