Welcome to the FyUgly World

Funnily, these days, I've never been busier, people to meet, deals to make, pubs to patronise, band to sing with, friends to make,.. things to do.. things to clean up..

Heh.


A lot of issues went through my mind recently.

Some made me reasses my self worth.
Some made me realise how fyugly the world is.
Some reminded me how men are simply disgusting animals, really.

And I am not talking about heart breaks.

I am talking about men with power, with money, with status, with EGO, with no brain, with disgusting perception and attitude towards pretty younger ladies.


More than a year ago, I went for an interview.
An important director of a Huge Singaporean Company was offering me a position.


Over wine, cheese and a show-around, The interview went on more than smoothly. We talked about my qualifications, my visions, my interpesonal skills, my hobbies, his hobbies, his visions.... I was getting the job.

We then went for dinner where for a moment I realised.. damnn.. he was looking at me.
Like STARING AT ME.

This is getting so scary. He was handsome for his age, which I would reckon to be late 40s. Very fit, very charismatic man with his smarts and slicks. His names came out in papers occasionally. But still.. I mean he's probably married. I mean, I wouldn't even dream of him making a pass at me. Though I suppose, possible.

Okay lah. look only nevermind right?? People quite pretty what...

So nairmind. We talked more on Indonesian market, businesses, what my dad does, people whom he knows, contacts whom I know.. blah blah yadah yadah..

So, he offered to drive me back. Heh. It was like way out of the way.

But I thought, whatever lah.

In the car, we spoke some more and out of an exciting conversation, his left hand flew from the steering wheel to my lap. Briefly. But more like tapping, or slight slapping.

Gave me a shock. I then rested my handbag on my right lap from then on.

I hated it. Shyite man, what was that for????? I hate the fact that I wouldnt dream of offending him, because of his stupid fyucked up status whatever SHITE, though I probably would slap him if he did go wayyyy beyond that. But at that time, I guess I was still stunned.

Naturally, I turned down the job offer.

I saw him again a few months back at Riverine, he was loitering around. He asked me if I still want to work for him. Eh.. sorrry. I am not the kind who would sleaze my way up to the top.


This is not the only case, mind you. I have tons of drinking kakis who are MDs lah.. directors lah.. VPs lahh.. CEOs lahh..and not all of them are filled with integrity to the brim. Most are lacking big time. All are probably as old or older than my dad.

Having grown up with less than half a dad, well, I guessed I've always missed that father figure. I never saw anything wrong with making such good friends with them. I have friends of all ages, from those very young to those very old, anyway.
Yes, those men were good business acquaintances. And they seem thrilled at the thought of the company of a pretty young woman who can hold a good, witty conversations from music, to business, current affairs, engineering stuffs, to investments to politics.

Excuse me. I am not a bimbo.

My line of work involves a hell lot of mingling and PR with people from all walks of life.. from high net worth people to contractors and everyone else.

Some of those bosses, are very very nice, indeed, but somehow, at the back of my mind, the phrase: "All men are animals" never stop ringing.

All men are animals.

Same thing with those damn bosses. I see some going to KTV, grabbing nubile ladies like there's nothing wrong with it. In Jakarta, in China, even in Singapore. I am pretty damn sure my dad does it too. It comes with the job as a business man. This is the side dish they like most.

Everywhere lah. The same. The world is ugly yah?
Isn't it disgusting to think that one of them could be like my friend's friend's dad or something. Or long distance uncle or something.

The same rule applies.

They're all the same.


It's sad.


Sometimes, I wonder where the line is. Friendliness and sleaziness.
Is putting the hand around the shoulder okay?
Is putting hand on the small of the back okay? how about waist??
Ahh.. what if they're a bit tipsy? Can cut them some slack? Absolutely not.

Mind you, I've slapped at least 3 men for squeezing my arse. They fyucking deserved it.

I hate these RUDE! physical contacts.

If it's just slightly offensive to me, like a tap on the arm or slight grasp on the shoulder or waist, I would normally just wry away or something.
I really would like to have the courage to say :"Please do not do that".

I have to some. But not to all. Somehow, it just seemed that it's part of ther behavioural pattern, they're just friendly that way. I may offend them by saying that. And there goes a friend.

Blardy Hell.


Hell, I am not to be compared with those comfort women, they throw themselves at the men, they are cheap skanks. This is the only way they earn dough. Poor thing I know. But they're stupid what. Me and mom believed that no matter how poor we ever get, we will never do such thing. I'd rather be a maid, a toilet cleaner or even a port coulie, rather than to ever sell my body for money. They have the lowest dignity of them all.

So sometimes, I question my self worth. Hell.. I will never go anywhere there, and yet, I am always so close by. Shite man. Sometimes I am so sick of this. I've seen how it all works, how they negotiate a prostitute in Shanghai in front of my very eyes. Argh,. How my friends pick up KTV chicks. URGH. And HOW these bosses sometimes (I fear)... may look at me with a certain different light.

World. Not pretty.

Is it so dangerous to go for beer with 4-5 old men, I do this a lot.
And they're always Atas people. I always thought that it's nice to have wiser company, I missed having a fatherly figure. I never really drank beer and talked about nothing and everything with my dad, over beer and peanuts and lots of happiness. My dad, as good as gone.

Also, I learn a lot of things from them. Tricks of the trade, their experience, I want to learn everything and they are so willing to share, especially to pretty young girls. I love their company most of the time. Interesting conversations, sharing stories, experience, business tips, etc. They can pull strings for you and give you useful contacts too. As a bonus.

Sad if. Very Sad that is, if . If they happen to look at me any other way.
Like I am some sort of a comfort woman with much much more brains and wit than the cheap skanks. Geee. I suppose in this case, being a pretty young woman is a duble edged sword. Suppose it helps that I surprise then from time to time with what I know and the fact that I know quite a bit of everything. Hell. But still. Sometimes, I wish I could turn the table around.

I want to have the power.

Sometimes I think the world is damn fyugly that I just want to run away from it all.

Is these no integrity left in the men of this world???


Big Sigh.












Okay, enough reflections and wailings.

There's so much more things in life.

Heh.


Like a mother's love. So what if my dad had unofficially disowned me.


Mom has been cooking up a feast at home. It's heavenly.

I'd like to present:
....

BAKMEE AYAM ala Celly's mami!







Wahhaha.. one whole pot of SAMBAL!

Ahhh.... better than bak chor mee.. wayyyy better... and it's different of course..





The chilli is feisty for sure.





This is : Soto Betawi.

Indonesia has like hundreds of kinds of Soto I think.
Here in Singapore you've probably eaten Mee Soto and not much else.
Poor thing lah you guys.





This is the soto Betawi close up.. with sambal.. power..

Actually if anyone would like to try the bakmee or any other Indon cusine, I guess can always email me. Maybe can do take away services. Heh!

I want to open Indon restaurant leh.
In time.

Investors are welcomed to talk to me and try the food.. he he.


Ahh... ...

To conclude today, here's me and momi...lots of it..

We went to Cafe Iguana last week, I've been romancing her a lot !!!
Afternoon movies... chi chi dinners.. more movies.. ballet, musical.... ahhh... SO NICE--


Anyway, we cruised through Clarke Quay. She hasnt been there since,.. 1998 I think..
With my dad.. so much has changed...





mom clarke quay

We then finally decided to go to Cafe Iguana, for the cheap but blardy good Margaritas... 4.50 per glass during Happy Hour leh!

She tried her first Margarita there!!! Muahahah *evil laugh*




Momi and her BlueBeri margarita




Mom and her famous half smile.
I've been giving crash course on SMILING!




See.. i told her.. must smile like this..!!!!!!!!
hehe.. This is me beaming with my Chimichanga





She then tried smiling again.. hehehe.. laughing liao.. she's co cute,
Nobody knows she's my mom, she looks like my lesbian girlfriend or something.. huehuehueh




This is Mom n me at the bridge in Clarke quay. Thank you to the very very nice angmoh gentleman who helped us take the photo.





Last but not least..

That was yours truly, Fully metrosexual AKA Vain x 1000%..




Peace out....




xoxoxo