My tusheez

This blog was started once upon a time when a young girl at school didnt know better but thought otherwise. So the way earlier entries can be crass and words inappropriate so please don't judge. As now the person has evolved into someone older and wiser (hopefully) ..:.... But some of the entries were classic and hilarious so I don't have the heart to delete them :@ Well we were all young (read:wild) once, right?

Friday, July 21, 2006

The Faraway Land Tale- The Next Generation Part 2

To read :
The Faraway Land Tale -Next Generation part 1

click here

Princess and Captain finally found a wrecked, kampung motel and they have been staying there from day one. Everything was meant to go on ever so smoothly, eventhough the roof collapsed and the monsoon rain leaked into their little hut, and shoals of dead, rotten fish sometimes got washed by the dawn waves, onto their front porch, and sometimes onto their sleeping mats made of coconut leaves.
Smelly problems. You betcha!
But, somehow, it was all swell.

It was just the two of them, loving each other, loving every minute of it. Captain Scary was still Captain Scary, with his crazy antics and inexplicable tantrums.
He would scare the hell out of poor Princess,
whenever he gets angered, frustrated or sleepy.
But Princess, ever-lovingly, would forgive him
and grow into his patterned behaviours.
Until one day, the inevitable happened.

They had to part.

It was not that Princess had stopped loving Captain Scary, but if you thought you are going to get a foie gras when all you have is a prata, wouldn’t you leave prata to get the much chi-chi-ed French duck liver??
So naturally, Princess left Captain Scary for Captain Hunky (Captain H).

She met Captain H at the shore one afternoon.
She was collecting shells at the YellowSand Shore when Captain H saw her. It was love at first sight, for Captain H.

All throughout his life, he has been swarmed by long-legged, willing, gorgeous blondes and sometimes, brunettes. But he has never seen anything like Princess Silly.
She was so different that she was special.
She was short to start with, he has never seen a frame so puny, yet so round, so fragile looking. He wanted to quickly envelope her with his big frame and masculine warmth. She looked ever so ordinary and *gasp*, she looked ever so filthy,
but, somehow it was endearing to his (blinded) eyes.

Captain H was even more thrilled when he heard Princess Silly humming a tune from his favorite movie Star’s Warts.

It was a lovely tune really.

To his ears at the least.

He walked up to her slowly, ever so cautious, ever so careful,
so as not to frighten the little, tiny lady out of her dirty frock.
A tiny step at a time.

Captain H was hunky of course, he had a built that of a Gladiator and a face and brawn that of any Greek God. He was what would be a HAWWTTTT Gay pin-up in our modern times. In that period, he was just a hunky captain with the most delectable looks ever. Oh, and the most delectable pelvic bones too. Which Princess spotted much later on when Captain H took off his vest to cover her under the monsoon rain.
Oh, Captain H is straight as a ruler of course.
Princess Silly didn’t like him straight away. When she turned around to see what was making rustling noises at the beach.

She frowned.

"What on earth is that THING?" She said in under her breath, at her first look.

She was never accustomed to nice looking things, because back in The Faraway Land where she came from, ugly was the way to live. Ugliness was rampant, normal and sometimes treasured. Anything beautiful would be killed within the next few hours.

Captain H continued to stare at her intently as he walked closer and closer to her. Princess saw this and got scared, she started walking backwards, a step at a time.
Alas, but she was one clumsy Princess, she tripped over a docked wooden boat and fell into it.

Captain H was amused, to her dismay. He rushed to her and offered her a hand. Princess saw the smooth hairs growing at the back of his hand and she was stunned.
Captain H had the smoothest hand. He had the tiniest hair on them and he smelled really, really nice.
It was almost like a fresh garden of berries. He smelled almost like yogurt.
Intuitively, she took his hand and sniffed it, which of course startled Captain H.

"Another willing, easy lay", He sighed.

Princess then threw his hand aside and climbed out of the boat herself.

"What did you think you were doing, Mister whoeveryourname is?
I have smelled your hand, now go!"

"I am Captain Horace, my friends call me Captain Hunky, but you can call me Captain H"

"What makes you think I’d call your name at all?"

"Ah. Of course."

Princess started walking away. She just hated arrogant men.
Hunky? Bah.
However, she could not get the fragrant smell of his hand out of her head.
She wanted to run back to him and smell it again.

"Captain Scary always has his hands smelling of sardines and mud.
Why can’t he smell like Captain H?",
Princess wondered.

Princess walked home alone that night.
She missed Captain Scary to bits
and she couldn’t wait to cuddle in his musty arm pits.
Days had gone by and Captain Scary noticed certain changes in Princess.
She started to act very weirdly.

She no longer picked up shells off the shore.
she would go to the nearby garden
and pluck cherries and an assortment of berries,
namely; wolfberries, gooseberries, boysenberries, sexyberries and nightberries.
She would smell them one by one
and then mix everything in a basket
and smell them over and over again.
One time,
she made Captain Scary dipped his whole hand
into the basket filled with the mix of squashed berries.
She would then smell his hand
and heaved a huge sigh.
"What’s wrong Princess?"
"Your hand stinks"
"Does it? But you’ve always liked it"
"Not anymore"
Captain Scary was then saddened, angered and so, he walked away, just like how he would normally do. Captain didn’t return that night, or the night after, or the night after.
Princess wondered where he had gone. It had been days and she was worried. She went to the Many Berries Garden to look for him, but to her sorrow, she could not find him there.
"Selfish Captain moron, where did he go if not to smell like the berries I love!" Princess was upset then.
At this moment, came Captain H. Princess was pleasantly flabbergasted.
He was towering over with all his coolness and greatness.
And Captain H smelled exactly the way she wanted him to.
Like the berries.

"We’ve met again little lady, may I know your name, Pretty please?"

"Uh.. ", Princess took a while to regain her composure.
"They call me Princess Silly, but please don’t call me princess ass (S)"

"I see what you mean. Of course I won’t. I wouldn’t want to disrespect you."

The moments were then temporarily still. Charged with blinding emotions, stirring and engulfing the air surrounding them.

" Would you care for some berries? " Captain H started again.

"Ah… yes please", Princess said with a wide, wide, Bob the Cat smile.

She was enthralled by his presence and his smell of berries. In a very nice way. Berries…. Berrriess… Sweet berries..

Princess did not go home that night.
She found her goldberry mine.



At 5:00 PM, Blogger Adrian gently snorted that...

wah. you write story, i write story, who read?

At 10:36 PM, Anonymous WinterAngelzzZ gently snorted that...

Hey celle, ur "fairytale story" always amused me heaps & really made me stay tune to them all the tx..cant really imagine how u can come w those names(hotels,food..)the way u describe those ugly stuffs in such a comical way win handdown eh..makin the best out of them.. =) keep it up babe!

At 8:06 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

adrian: i read ure u read mine mah.

winteranglezz: hehehe.. thank you babe.. how are things in your continent??? isnt it summer now? nice??

At 8:06 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

winterangelzz: ehh salah.. winter now yah.. hah

At 9:30 AM, Anonymous blackcat gently snorted that...

Need your help...

t (unaccelerated) = c/a * sinh(a*t/c)
d = c**2/a * (cosh(a*t/c) - 1)
v = c * tanh(a*t/c)

Vc = sqrt(M * G / r)
Vesc = sqrt(2 * M * G / r) = sqrt(2) * Vc
V^2 = u/a
P = 2 pi/(Sqrt(u/a^3))
K = 1/2 V**2 - G * M / r (conservation of energy)

At 1:40 PM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

blackcat: siao bo..

wheres the question. u give me equations only. which one to solve. and alamak dun understand the ** bit..

At 2:11 PM, Anonymous blackcat gently snorted that...

Sorry, wrong question...:=) Btw, U need to help me on the....thingy that I smsed U just know....because I'd be busy tomorrow and the day after.....

Find the sum of all values of x which satisfy the following system of equations:

y = x2 - 5x + 5
z = x2 - 12x + 35
yz = 1
where x, y, z are real numbers.

At 9:56 PM, Anonymous WinterAngelzzZ gently snorted that...

its winter now babe..quite cold compare2SG..esp in the night but still bearable..hehe..(@least not as bad as last winter which dropped till (-5degrees) @night *brrr*)now @night its only 5degrees but in the mornin is darn foggy!cant really see when drivin2Uni..haha >_<"

how's evything 4 u back in SG??found any students for accomodation??if im still studyin in SG I'll wanna rent if its within my budget =)

At 9:59 PM, Anonymous ccountry music lyrics gently snorted that...

Hi Friend! You have a great blog over here!
Please accept my compliments and wishes for your happiness and success!
If you have a moment, please take a look at my ccountry music lyrics site.
Have a great day!

At 11:00 PM, Blogger Alex gently snorted that...

eh, blackcat quite young hor. those looks like high school questions wor.

At 1:34 AM, Anonymous c0chrane gently snorted that...

ya ya... after uni, i formatted my entire hard drive on all learning stuff... now can only remember the drunken stupors in clubs and the stupid things that precipitated from said stupor(s)

At 8:05 AM, Anonymous blackcat gently snorted that...

Alex; I'm ancient actually...:) So, kind enough to high school maths teacher just passed away laah....

At 8:30 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

blackcat: eh. when im free ah. ahha..

alex: kay poh u..

cochrane: well done! what other memories u need to keep anyway???

winterangelz: the last time i was in sydney, it was winter too. a who;e month. was nice. but kinda like the summers too. coz then it was dry and not humid, yet shiny.

oh well. i miss sydney... =(

At 12:53 PM, Blogger Adrian gently snorted that...

Heheh, good suggestion.


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