My tusheez

This blog was started once upon a time when a young girl at school didnt know better but thought otherwise. So the way earlier entries can be crass and words inappropriate so please don't judge. As now the person has evolved into someone older and wiser (hopefully) ..:.... But some of the entries were classic and hilarious so I don't have the heart to delete them :@ Well we were all young (read:wild) once, right?

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Birthdays are weeklong Celebrations

Today I celebrated my birthday again.
In fact, I've been singing myself a Happy Birthday song everyday this week.
Why not right? Got people say cannot meh??

It goes like this:

*clap clap*

""Happy Birthday to me...
You're getting old cant you see..
Saggy boobs, wrinkles and cellulite..
So just go and fly kite.."


Anyway, I am gonna show more pictures before the bullshits are crapped out.

This time we went to Fish&Co before adjourning to play Bishi Bashi Champ and Baby Hero at the arcade..

Dinner was sumptuos, but fishy, very very fishy.

It's so fishy that there's a liddle gold fish at the bottom of DC's glass of water.

Poor dude was petrified.



"DC and the dead gold fish. "

We then kampong-ly took more photoes.






Me and Z, ..............................................DC, me , Shil




Me, Sandy.

*Take photo with this super slim babe must squeeze cheeks in one.

Aye... all my babes are so chio...


Ok laaa.. enough photoes.

Today, I've just decided on a liddle bit of future plans.

We were on the topic of having children.

I realise I am dying to have kids.
I love kids, other people's kids, nobody's kids, little nephews and nieces, all kids.
I want my own kids. Liddle SillyCellies.
However, chances of getting married soon is very slim.
Not only is there the money issue, but there's a bigger bridegroom issue.

So, I've proclaimed to my friends today that once I've become a capable career woman in a few years time with lots of money to spare, I shall head to the sperm bank.

This was decided after much consideration.

We discussed about just picking a cute guy with a pickup line,

" Excuse me, can I buy your sperm???".

Cute guy would give me the "What the Fyuck" look and condemn my presence.

So, Sperm bank it is.

For year one, I will be choosing a sperm from an angmoh.
The baby will have blue eyes, my cute nose and the angmoh's blondeness.

For year two, I will be choosing a sperm from an Afro-American.
The baby will have chocolate skin, my chin and his butt.

For year three, I will choose a Chinese one.
This one I dont really care how the baby looks, as long as he doesn't look like the Ahpek who sells prawn mee.


This way, I can shoot my own Benetton Advertisement. Like how cool.

Now, it's time to think of names.

A distant uncle of mine named his kids:

Trillion, Billion, Gillion and Maxi Million...

I am gonna have to be more creative than him.

Large, Medium and Small will do nicely.
I will never mix them up for their sizes.
They will of course be adopting my surname Lee.

Upon DC's request,
I will be naming the Chinese one :Large Lee.
Angmoh kid is :Medium Lee
and the black kid :Small Lee.

DC has also discovered WHY babies cry at births.
He said that this is copyrighted so I will pay for copyright la.

Here!!!!: @copyright 2005. DC.

Bah...

Well, in case you don't know, at labour, women would be pushing all her might to get the baby out. They will end up pushing on their bowels along with their cervical muscles, etc.
So, they will excrete out faeces during labour.

Babies who are born face down are most jialat.

First thing they see once out of the womb....

Is shit.

And anyhow...It's Smellyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!

so they cry lahh....

Man, I think since our earliest days, we already know that life is full of shits.


Ok ... today's entry abit personal.

To bring it up a notch, next entry will be the long awaited "The Right Member to Hit G".

It is especially concocted for the ladies out there.
For we all deserve a little bit of heaven on earth.

I am going to konk now. Zouk was very tiring today.
Dance RnB must bend knees one to shake butt. My knee caps now exploding.
Basket...

XXXXXXXX

22 Comments:

At 6:03 AM, Blogger J Schnorng gently snorted that...

Actually, I'm sure you could find a cute guy willing to sell you his sperm. We're all hardwired to propagate, anyway.

Regards,
J

 
At 10:01 AM, Blogger maotai 茅台 gently snorted that...

you need to pay for it meh? am sure the guy willing to make personal delivery somemore LOL

 
At 10:26 AM, Blogger Edmund gently snorted that...

ya lor...I agree with Maotai also....
besides...what would AuntCelly think? Esp if that guy is cute?

Don't be silly.

 
At 10:47 AM, Blogger suspiciousbastard gently snorted that...

Will the Small Lee guy be an expert with flying daggers?

 
At 10:59 AM, Blogger Jayaxe gently snorted that...

Honestly, I'm not surprised even if the cute guy picked up is willing to pay you to give you his er, genes.

By the way, you're damn happening, man!

 
At 11:12 AM, Anonymous Spanar gently snorted that...

Ay....naming sequence wrong lah

1st year: Angmoh --> Small Lee
2nd year: Afro --> Medium Lee
3rd year: Chinese --> Large Lee

wtf? too much fish ah...

Ever thought of how to explain to them about their "differences" when they are older? (ok, getting too serious.....my fault)

btw, Happy Mothers' Day

 
At 12:52 PM, Anonymous Jaywalk gently snorted that...

"hahaha u think chinese new year ah"

Gong Xi! Gong Xi!

whahahaha.....

 
At 2:04 PM, Blogger Adrian gently snorted that...

Ehh, Zouk plays R&B on Friday nights nowadays meh?

 
At 2:16 PM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

J: the thought that he sees how cute i am then still want to sell and not donate the sperm is verlly sad.. so i just to bank where die die must pay $$ lor...

maotai: i knew ppl gonna comment things like that... heh..

edmund:hahhaha... dowan laa very mafan in the end one.

suspiciousbastard: Small Lee can be a bronx loan shark...

jayaxe: yeahh.. thats what i thought too..u heard that?? J?MaoTai? Edmund??? Cute guy will payy instead... hahha.. but then.. thats disgusting. that'd make me a hooker.. yuckkss

spanar: why angmoh smallest leh.. ? u tokin abt their noses? or their brains?

jaywalk: finally got someone think its like chinese new year.. yes yess!!! giemmme hongbaos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

adrian: Heh.. sorry I meant Phuture la..hehe

 
At 2:32 PM, Anonymous makanmonkey gently snorted that...

how come Jac didn't go? heehee...

 
At 3:07 PM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

makanmonkey: off day k..

 
At 3:33 PM, Blogger crazycat gently snorted that...

waliao.. i din know delivering a baby is so hard and disgusting.. wa.. poo all over operating table.. gross

 
At 4:51 PM, Blogger Shortphat K gently snorted that...

Just adopt lah...

 
At 6:48 PM, Anonymous makanmonkey gently snorted that...

aiyoh... simple... b4 giving birth... ask for an enema.

 
At 7:33 PM, Blogger Adrian gently snorted that...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 7:35 PM, Blogger Adrian gently snorted that...

Haha, ok. Cheh, I thought if Zouk got R&B day will be most shiok. Cos Phuture damn small...

 
At 11:28 PM, Anonymous koh gently snorted that...

Today is also my last day of celebration. Btw, still waiting for that cake. kekek
Actually, just hop over to engineering fac and I am sure there will be a long queue of volunteers. Erm.. as engine guys are errm.........errm.... errm.. helpful. (yes that is the correct word to say)

 
At 4:26 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

cat: yup yup.. not only gross. damm painful too..

shortphat k: cannot.. must have sillycelly genes in them..

ad: yeah.. phuture is for ass rubbing.mambo will be good.. yay!

makanmonkey: no use la.. still tragic

koh: dun wan engineer's genes la..

 
At 3:38 PM, Blogger maotai 茅台 gently snorted that...

knew you were fishing for compliments :P LOL

 
At 7:49 PM, Blogger EenieMeenie gently snorted that...

erm i think they usually give the pregnant woman something to clear her bowels first before they proceed to give birth. they would take these kinds of precautions.

 
At 8:06 PM, Blogger kidWithItchyHands gently snorted that...

my mummy always told me that after she painfully gave birth to me in 23+ hours, i entered the world....and i didn't bother to cry...she said i looked at the people in the room first

i must be special!...or my mum smells good : )

 
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