My tusheez

This blog was started once upon a time when a young girl at school didnt know better but thought otherwise. So the way earlier entries can be crass and words inappropriate so please don't judge. As now the person has evolved into someone older and wiser (hopefully) ..:.... But some of the entries were classic and hilarious so I don't have the heart to delete them :@ Well we were all young (read:wild) once, right?

Thursday, April 21, 2005

To be Woman to be man to be

This entry is inspired by a conversation during a stroll back from Fong Seng to campus.

Actors: Benson (cute archer), Jac (cute babe), Me(cute shit)

Benson: I'm going Korea leh.. in May.

Me: Wharr.. for plastic surgery ah? Your nose ok what..

Benson: No larrr. stupid.. for archery

Me: Ah.. can bio girls there then..

Jac: Beware of Korean girls hor.. they all look the same..

Benson: Heh..

Me: Yah.. they all come from same factory one. Can go doctor choose nose number 1, 2,3..
All nose shapes there are moulded from famous artistes you know?!! !.. You want Won Bin's?

Benson: Heh.. sure anot..

Me: Really lahh.. so you may start thinking, ' how come you see this one girl all the time, and you'd go: "must be fate!!".. ' , so before you disillusion yourself, momma here is telling you that they're different girls. It's like the culture there to change your nose and stuff. It's cheap too!

Jac: Why cheap leh?? Tok kok..

Me: Coz so many plastic surgeons there mah, competition high, so prices drop mah... confirm... warr my econs quite zai..
Actually... You should go Thailand. Must be even cheaper there.

Jac: Yeah.. then you can have sex change also.

Me: I should go there change my face or something hor.. quite fun

Benson: Siao.. then you come back looking like bapuk..

Jac: Yeah.. and if you go Thailand for face change.. they may give you a free gift also.

Me: Hehehehe.. a cock ah.. ?!!?

Jac: Yeah! Attached at the right place too! Wouldnt that be great?!!!??

Me: YAY!!!! *cheering wildly*... I wont need MEN anymore!!!!


*suddenly, I stopped cheering and started wailing*

NO NO NO!!!! CANNOT!!! &*((^^%&!!!!!

Jac: Eh.. why why?

Me: Wrong Orientation la dei !!!!!!

Jac: Alamak.. true la.. cannot DIY. At least can be a les and save up on strap-ons.

Me: Dowannnnn....dowannn......

Benson: Siao Char booooossss...

Jac: Why you wanna change your face in the first place??

Me: To make myself look more docile maybe?
The guys I chase all pee in their pants

Jac: Aiyorrrr.. it's not the face lorr.. it's the whole package!

Me: I'd have been happier if they'd cum'd in their pants instead actually

Jac: Arrhhh..

*bio: oggle at

*zai: powerful

*bapuk: trannies

*siao char bo: crazy girl

Disclaimer: Conversation has been altered slightly. Abridged version.


I am not going fo a sex change or any miscellanous genital addition.
I am gonna rightfully stay a woman and savour every drop of it.
I am also gonna stay exactly the way I am.
Don't care if the ball-less blokes wet themselves.

Today horr.. I know I should be burying myself in my Automation notes (exam on Monday) to make up for loss time yesterday and today.
(dinner + mambo +flirting+more mambo + sleep+ hangover recovery time (very long)).
But since Mr Joel refused to make me a lil Miss SillyCelly.
I went to make my own.

Warning: Damn fyucking ugly.

* Wahahhaa.. complete with pimples siaaaahh...
I still dunno what I should be holding in my hand..
Can you recommend something?*

Update on AUNTCELLY:

The old fart, young at heart, is now slacking away.
She has not much problems to solve and has started to take up knitting.
Though she complete sucks at it.
Worse still, she's started having disgusting, illicit thoughts on her fat bulldogs and old, wrinkly neighbours. Hence, please save her and give the old byatch more problems.

Her most recent accomplishment was a guide especially meant for the ladies, which will be published very very soon. So ladies take note!! It's a MUST read!

To check out her ultimate ability in solving difficult problems.
Check AUNTCELLY's time.


At 12:29 AM, Blogger Reese P. gently snorted that...

You know you are really funny. But I think you should lay off for the moment & pick up the pace on your studies instead. Like what my grandpa used to say, do whatever you want with your life but get a degree 1st. Just my 2 cents worth & goodluck for your exams!

At 1:09 AM, Anonymous your admirer gently snorted that...

are u the girl in the central library with the blue jacket with pink stripes and a cap on sometimes? Nicely done la your blog. Atas. Funny.

At 1:22 AM, Blogger MyOrangeSweater gently snorted that...

Hey, I dun really agree wth reese p. Sorry lah RP, not that I dun support studying, but I think diff pple study in diff ways. Some study 10 hours a day, some study 10 mins a day, and they still get the same results. Like my ex-classmate Jon, who slept and played pool thro' his 4 years in NUS, still got 1st class honors. While his poor gf studied like siao, also 4 years, but 4th one is to repeat the final year. Silly Celly must have her own way of studying. Hang in there Celle, soon it will all be over. Until your Master's Degree, then it starts all over again. But if you come to the US to do your Master's, damn siok man. Friday no class, so Thursday night is "TGIT", music, booze and w*ed (not me lah, but I hung out with those who did them).

At 1:22 AM, Anonymous Sleepless in Bangkok gently snorted that...

Gosh I miss the late nights and supper. Not to mention the company ^^

Saw any cute girls @ fong seng?
Hope the standard is still high, last I went it wasn't.

And thailand people call them Katoeys, not Bapok in case you people are interested.

At 2:22 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

katoeys sound cool...

your admirer (orr aptly mine):
Harr harrr.. shitzzz.. Yah.. must be me..

sleepless in bkk:
dunno leh.. i looked at my nasi lemak and not at cute guys *blatant lie*..
heh.. no la din see any that day.

To everyone: MY PHOTO HOSTING BUSTED AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
HOW LIDAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got so many bloody account liao to keep up.. still no use.. why ahh.. why lidat ahh.. i sian liaooo

At 2:45 AM, Blogger Gabrielle gently snorted that...

one of my immediate relative underwent sex change. ok nuff said.

At 3:44 AM, Blogger MyOrangeSweater gently snorted that...

Was reading one of Celle's old blogspots, saw somebody wrote "Ah sarks", I think he/she meant "Ah shucks", right? I have seen many different written version of that word. My fren Chloe writes it as "Sharks". One other fren got so confused, and would ask "Why SK diam diam talk about Jaws one ah?", damn hilarious. Animal theme today ...

At 4:25 AM, Blogger Poncho the beagle gently snorted that...

Maybe with your blog's current popularity, you should launch your own webby.

Get some sponsors to pay for your site so u dont have worry about free hosting anymore!

List of sponsors off hand: Oxy, Clearasil, PUB(Public utilties Board hor, not your local watering hole)

At 8:54 AM, Blogger CyBorg gently snorted that...

eh,.... this sex change thing hah.... guy become gal i can understand lah....just cut the lil dicky off... but gal become guy... they use the cock they cut off from the guys and paste it on to the ladies meh?
how to erect man like that??
any wiring connected bo?

At 9:19 AM, Blogger Shortphat K gently snorted that...

OMG!!! Photo hosting busted again!!! Use hello from picasa lah. Dun need to host, or i lend you my server space to host lah...kekekeke

At 10:55 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

K: hello hor.. like cannot put more than one per entry some more..
so u gona host my photoes for free ah???

gab: its quite common here actually..

poncho: bleah.. u sponsor me laa

imran: dunno lehh..

At 10:59 AM, Anonymous buster gently snorted that...

auntie, I have a splittin headache, bleeding nose, cracked skins and I smell like the longkang outside my HDB. What should I do?

At 11:37 AM, Blogger Shortphat K gently snorted that...

Hmm...yeah hor,hello can only post one at a time..but flickr also wat...hahah anyway, I've got server space sitting around doing nothing much. Emu me to confirm and i will emu you back with the password and instructions. FOC long as you don't bring the server down!!! MUAHAhahha

At 12:12 PM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

K: so generous ah?????Sure anot??
Ok ok.. I will emu u soon.. cheers!!

At 1:14 PM, Blogger calm one gently snorted that...

you got tomorrowed! =)

At 1:55 PM, Blogger Shortphat K gently snorted that... long as u have a ftp client and knw how to code the link into your post. This is not as handy as flickr or hello eh...kekek

At 3:07 PM, Anonymous huei gently snorted that...

Teach u all a trick: Hello CAN post more than one pic at a time. just add this "||" behind every pic/caption. meaning, before u hit enter to submit the pic to the bot, not enter then add n enter again.

Only thing i dun like about Hello is that when you post up picture entries you can't input title (or at least, i duno how), u have to go back to the dashboard to edit that part...

At 4:09 PM, Blogger Jared gently snorted that...

The amount of words you write is madness. You should be in Arts instead of Eng!

At 5:48 PM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

kenneth: i cant be in arts.. i think i ve wrritten a short essay on how i cant be in arts.. somewhere in long ago post.. hahaha.. i really will fail the essays.. unless profs give me A if funny...

calmone: wats tomorrowed? i blur liao.. is it the tommorow sg mr b was tokin about? whats the link again?

k: as long as i can get the url link to the pic rite?

At 11:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous gently snorted that...

little miss: you shd be holding a textbook lar!

At 5:39 PM, Anonymous plastic surgery in pic gently snorted that...

I think my wife has lost her mind. She wants to go under the knife and that scares me. So I am out search for information on vaginal plastic in surgery. I saw your To be Woman to be man to be and thought I would give your page a quick peek to see if you had any information on vaginal plastic in surgery. Though it was not a perfect fit Blogger I think your page is great.
Thank You!!!

At 3:47 AM, Anonymous vaginal plastic in surgery gently snorted that...

I think my wife has lost her mind. She wants to go under the knife and that scares me. So I am out search for information on plastic surgery in san francisco. I saw your To be Woman to be man to be and thought I would give your page a quick peek to see if you had any information on plastic surgery in san francisco. Though it was not a perfect fit Blogger I think your page is great.
Thank You!!!

At 2:15 AM, Anonymous plastic surgery in pic gently snorted that...

Hi Blogger I am thinking maybe I should get a procedure done. I am out looking for information on plastic surgery in pic and ran across your site. Your To be Woman to be man to be peeked my interest and I just wanted to see if you had any information on plastic surgery in pic. Well, anyway back to my search. Hey thanks for some information that I did not have.

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