My tusheez

This blog was started once upon a time when a young girl at school didnt know better but thought otherwise. So the way earlier entries can be crass and words inappropriate so please don't judge. As now the person has evolved into someone older and wiser (hopefully) ..:.... But some of the entries were classic and hilarious so I don't have the heart to delete them :@ Well we were all young (read:wild) once, right?

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Bjock of IceFregigginLAnd

I wanted to blog about something enriching today.
However, This cannot wait...

There's this lovely girl staying two doors down from me.
She used to whistle to her mp3 playing Jazz and Blues all day long
I had no complaints. Sometimes, when I peed (and the toilet is just opposite our rooms),
I'd giggle and admire her whistling coz moi cannot whistle.

However, recently she has adopted this crazy mood.
She's been playing one same song for 24 hours a day for two days!!

MISS Bjork plugged up in the arse


Look girl girl, Bjork rocks!! BUT BJORK singing in a 7-11 for 2 days IS NOT COOL!
That Icelandic, eccentric artist sings very weird, eerie, ecclectic, erratic songs..

I feel like I am floating whenever I walk to the kitchen and toilet now.
It really feels like I am in Iceland somehow.
Everythin is turning into Bjork of ice.
My pee is turning ice cold, the walls reverberating.

When I cook my indomie in the kitchen, I could visualise myself floating above the stove and the noodles dancing in the air.

Whatever it is that she wanted to achieve.. SHe's done it!
Coz now I can remember every airy note in the song.. feel its wholesomeness, get cocooned in its eerieness and get me completely going berserk!!!

I shall write her a nice love letter...:


Dear nice girl at two doors down,

I see you've been studying and stuff. I reckon you could be quite stressed.

I can't help but notice your choice of song these days. (DUH??!!!)

I like Bjork too. I do!

I think she looks fabulous wearing that dead goose at the Awards.

*poor goose/swan*

but, not 2 x 24/7 of Bjork please. If you're an Arts students ,which I prolly think you are.
Right now, I wouldn't even mind if you spin abit of boybands darling.
They would be music to my ears.
I do go to the toilet alot, yes.. I pee alot coz I drink alot.
So, pretty please.. I would like to pee in peace next time and not be serenaded by the ghost-like sounds from your speakers.
Sphank you so much darling..
If you only have one song on your pc and that's that Fyucking song.
TELL me laaaaaaa.. I have thousands. OK?
May the peace be with US, SOON!

much love,

Patient girl from two doors up.


Hypothesis 1 of her reply:

Dear 2 girls up 2 doors..... (!!bloody gets my name wrong, wat 2 girls?),

I have been so totally into Bjork lately. She's totally awesome yeah!!

Thank you so much for noticing. Bjork's definitely music to my ears too =).. har har..I shall play it louder next time ok sweets? Jest for you of cuz...muacks muackss...

much love too,

bjork girl 2 doors down.


For fyuck's sake, I feel like stuffing her head into a duck's ass.

Hypothesis 2 of her reply:

Dear 2 door girls up, ........(!!WTF)

Eh! Charbo.. Simi lan??

Wat Byerk?? Dun have laa.. you muz be hearing things.

I play S.H.E only!...... (!!alamak.. yucks)


S.H.E fan 2 doors down


Now I really feel stuffing my head.. somewhere..

Maybe I should rephrase:

Dear girl two doors down,

If you EVER EVER read this.. , Wanna let you know that I love your Jazz tunes. Stick to them please.. !!I love peeing with jazz in the background. Feel damn high-class peeing.


Jazz fan 2 doors up


Arrrrhhh... she is still spinning it as I blog. Bloodey hell..

Her mp3 player stuck or wat? KNN... Lemme blast some JET to counter Bjork!!

Anyway, something else made me re-celebrate the beauty of good company today.

This is a conversation with my bestfriend Jac on msn:

Jac says: tonite im going clem to meet An.

jac says: remember An?

ME says: who dat. No

jac says:the senior girl working in my ex company,

ME says: Ooh.. that nice lady.

jac says: yeah...havent met her for a long time, you can come if you wanna

ME says: nahh, i be bored stiff, cant stand keepin with image

jac says: simi image?

ME says: ayahh.. cannot la, she so nice n proper, i wan have beer, fags, swear, dig nose and put my legs on the table

jac says: haha, if you know her well you can do all that

ME says: nah lazy i rather one on one with u, then i can scratch my crotch also

jac says: hahaha..who says you can ...ill walk out on you right away

ME says: no you wont

jac says: heh , ok tonite ill grab a six pack from clem or something ok

Me says: coolshit..

I'd say : "Good company or NO company. Period."

Ok.. I think JET is conquering Bjork. Yeszzz!!


At 9:50 PM, Anonymous The Potty gently snorted that...

Peace! I think it'd be proper to play something inbetween. Like Led Zeppelin. Or perhaps to make your point clear to her, Steve Vai? Anyway, goodluck & may the peace be with you. Haha!

At 10:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous gently snorted that...

she drives the rastafarian in me nuts...the youth today need a bit of bob marly to get them back on track.

At 11:05 PM, Anonymous yuz mambo gently snorted that...

Before i start, screw u "anonymous". Freakin hell, isn't it enuff u have to sit beside me in the freakin library. Now u need to "bad-mouth" my idol Bob Marley. ARGHH!!!

Its a bit sad tat u cant freakin whistle. Its pretty simple n can be done in a few steps.

1. Start puckerin your vivacous lips.
2. Breathe in
3. Slowly breathe out n start blowing.
4. If u r still unable to do so, invest in a nice cheap whistle n hang it around your neck as an accessory. Not only u will now be able to whistle while peeing but u can do it wif style.

Anyway, Sorry to hear bout the Bjork freak. But maybe she has a reason of playin the same song again n again. Could be exam strees or it could be otherwise.Anyway, if i was the "girl", i would reply something like this...

Dear nice girl up 2 doors....

Bjork totally rocks dear.
Thank you so much for noticing, coz i hope u would. Been noticin u lately ;) So, please dont be shy n come n over the next time u wanna go pee yah. We shall make sweet "music" to the tune of Bjork, shall we. Just for you *hugz* n *kisses*...

bjork girl 2 doors down. (END)

Anyway, back to my books or notes or watever u call them. Stupid examz. Bloody sianz.

At 11:10 PM, Anonymous Mambo Slayer gently snorted that...

Hi! i see your neighbour is 'killing' you with Bjork...hmm...well i don't know whats your problem with Bjork,...i think the girl has good taste. If you have problem with her playing Bjork 2x24/7, then you ought to install soundproof layers in the interior of your home...It's a pity you can't appreciate good music. I mean so what if she's playing it 2 x 24/7. i'd rather hear 2 x 24/7 of Bjork than have to listen to most of that intolerable drivel you hear on radio. Ok, so if installing sound proof layers is beyond your financial means, i suggest you run down to the nearest cd store and get yourself a Nine Inch Nails album...i'm serious! Nothing could be a better 'musical' antidote than a product by trent Reznor's musical genius. I suggest you get one of his albums,..and play it out loud,...and make sure you drown that bitch 2 storeys down with a barrage of sonic assault the music is bound to cause. So that's my second suggestion, which i would describe as more 'practical'. Good luck.

At 12:37 AM, Anonymous ImX gently snorted that...

I think i got to support U cell.
True to those who pro-Bjork. She's talented... but I definitely can identify thousands more who have better vocals! Especially 24 hours a day...oh... it was 2 days??? I'd hang Marilyn Manson naked pic on her dorm door if it hits 3 days!
Too much of something is REAL BAD!
Rock is best! n Rock Never Die!

At 2:06 AM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

yuz: hahhaa.!!! dammm i am so glad u not the girl..

mambo slayer: i nvr said that I didnt appreciate bjork, but i dun think i can appreciate anything thats played 24 hours aday for 2 days. I am a variety type of person

imran: aite.. if it hits a week, i hang marylin's head on her door la..

At 2:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous gently snorted that...

JET rocks! and good company is definitly impotant

At 3:22 AM, Blogger Gabrielle gently snorted that...

u can always just go up to her and ask her to turn down the volume.

At least you didnt get things like people not flushing the toilet, people pouring uneaten noodles/apple skin/rice etc into the toilet sink, or always finding your washing powder or cleaning sponge kenna stolen... like me... last time when i stayed in hall.

Worse! Once I heard someone put his clothes(underwear or something) into the MICROWAVE!! to dry....

And people who push your clothes on the hanger into one tight corner so they can hang theirs with lotsa space left.

Or smelly washing machines cos some guy washes the clothes WITHOUT washing powder. And i end up putting more myself to cover the smell... hai.

Sometimes can even find those super curly curly short hair(u know what i'm referring to) in the washing machine... wah lau... souvenior ah...

At 7:43 AM, Blogger Adrian gently snorted that...

Haha, you remind me of my sworn sis. When I go out with her she can be doing god-knows-what with her toe and also pluck her leg hair and stuff. Totally doesn't care about image with me, which makes her totally adorable. Of course, it helps that she's also a hot chick.

At 1:06 PM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

adrian: aiyoohh. scratching crotch is totally exgerrating can.. i am how pleasant to date. Really laaa.. was a jokE!!!but i put up my legs a lot.

BTW PPL! BJORK IS STILL REIGNING!!! I think gurl might be sick!i shd pass her a prozac or smth.

At 5:50 PM, Anonymous yuz mambo gently snorted that...

How celle? Is the girl hot or not? Maybe i should come down to NUS n be her knight in shining armour n "nurse" her back to health using "certain" tried & tested remedies of mine.

At 8:21 PM, Blogger Vicnan gently snorted that...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 8:22 PM, Blogger Vicnan gently snorted that...

Eh, mabbe she's lying unconciouss on the floor, in a pudlle of vomit/blood? You'd better go check on her.

And bring a plank with a nail in it, in the case that she isn't.

*exuding aura of innocence*

Paiseh, typo

At 4:18 PM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

vic: finally i can comment sialll.. nid to go comp centre one. basket.. yah.. i think she's shuddup finally after 3 days le.. maybe mp3 player burnt out

At 6:39 PM, Blogger stoned.nerd gently snorted that...

hahaha good read this.

At 3:57 AM, Blogger Shawn gently snorted that...

love the entry. good stuff. =)

At 2:22 PM, Blogger Indian Stallion gently snorted that...

Homogenic is one of my all time favourite albums. How dare you make fun of her genius?

But that album is quite depressing though, its about her break-up with her ex. Maybe friend is feeling the blues ?

At 1:44 PM, Blogger CELLE gently snorted that...

stallion: yeah maybe.. she hasnt come out of her hole since.
tsk tsk


Post a Comment

<< Home